Stronger.

Ah, my head hurts. Nice car, though.

I think obsession is the nature of the game with BPD. Not saying there aren't others who do but it's part of that black and white thinking. I've had my long drawn out obsessions with video games and comic book characters and I don't view it much differently than obsessions I've had with people.

My big obsession now is work. I don't know how to stop working on my various projects and just put things aside and enjoy myself. Stopping means thinking too much about things that will allow that suffering to set in. And I don't think we can necessarily endure more pain than the average, but our pain is of a different nature. To be honest, like it or not, much of our pain as BPD's is self-inflicted due to our way of looking at things. Suffering=not being able to let go of pain. Most people feel pain and are able to let it go and go on with their lives, something we inherently have issues with. We allow the pain to fester. We dwell on the past and worry about the future instead of letting it go and living for the day. Are we so much better than others who don't throw pain and suffering at themselves all of the time like we do? But, what do I know? I cannot begin to understand how most people think most of the time......

People are confusing, that's for sure. As for pain, I've trained myself to see (physical) pain as just another tactile sensation. This helps when I accidentally hurt myself, but it's the biggest reason why I can't let myself start cutting or anything. I probably wouldn't stop.

hubby's car was a four-door and was adorable. it was the same color as Sonic the Hedgehog too.

i'm not an obsessive person. sometimes i'd like to be, so that i can focus more on something and maybe make money with my passions, but that's more my husband's thing. he cycles between Magic The Gathering (collectible card game), superheroes, and video games. he is currently stuck on MTG. he wants to open a card shop someday.

meh, if we get rich and famous and he wants to do that, he can have it. i'll manage the money like i always do and we would probably be successful at it. however, we don't have the money to buy a house or a second car right now, never mind a shop.

was just thinking it'd be pretty awesome if we could buy a two-story building and live upstairs and turn the downstairs into a card shop. husband would LOVE that.

okay, maybe i do have an obsession, with designing houses and buildings. or just designing in general. i get an idea and then i have to write about it or draw it out.