This is not about anyone here that knows me. Don't worry I'm not attacking anyone but although something brought this to mind.

Don't you just love people with such simple solutions to your life such as if you're depressed, "well just think happy thoughts", for low self esteem "look in the mirror everyday and say 'I like you' " (really that was from a real life therapist, yeah I saw him ONCE haha) etc...

Any examples you all have experienced like this from people that just dont' understand how it really is?

[Atypical_Disaster]

Oh yes, I absolutely adore such people.

For my former self harm habit I got a lot of "well just stop" kinds of comments and it's like... don't you think I've tried that?

For my chronic states of boredom and emptiness I've received, "then get a job"... again I ask, don't you think I've tried that?

Oh and my favorite has to be when I'm angry/irritated/frustrated/whatever and someone says, "let it go"... lol... just lol...

[Ultra Darkness]

I've been told to stop crying before... To stop being so sensitive... Hmm. Does it count when people tell you to take time to do something well, even when you thought you were doing well?
Ugh, some people. That's like telling someone with a fear of cats, "Oh, come on! It's just a cat!" Yeah, and I'm sure you'd tell someone who was afraid of hights, "Oh, come on! It's just a sky-bridge over a double-lane highway!" you cross it then!

Ahem. Sorry. Talking (read, arguing) with myself.

Originally Posted by Ultra Darkness

I've been told to stop crying before... To stop being so sensitive... Hmm. Does it count when people tell you to take time to do something well, even when you thought you were doing well?
Ugh, some people. That's like telling someone with a fear of cats, "Oh, come on! It's just a cat!" Yeah, and I'm sure you'd tell someone who was afraid of hights, "Oh, come on! It's just a sky-bridge over a double-lane highway!" you cross it then!

Ahem. Sorry. Talking (read, arguing) with myself.

Exactly. That's what I mean. It's not even so much as saying "you need to pull yourself up by the bootstraps and keep going" That may be true in some cases, but it's the implication that it's as simple as that always that you can just "do that"

[greentires4me]

I am bored and people are like well read a book so someone today gave me 4 books to read I tried the first one and its so boring that I want to chuck it out the window...if I wanted to read boring books I would of gone to the library.

I said I feel despair and hopelessness and their thing to it was go for a walk that will make you feel better don't see that makes the despair and hopelessness less.

I said I was depressed to my mom and she said such as life we all get depressed.

This isn't exactly along the lines of the ones you've already said but it's things people have said to me to add shock value to the "snap out of it"...one of those lines that makes you feel great to be alive and BPD! (More like guilty as hell when said in the right vein.)

"If you keep isolating yourself from everybody, one of these days you're going to wake up and realize it's come true."

Like that is going to suddenly make me WANT to socialize! Or, right after having an outburst or doing something stupid:

"I hope you're proud of yourself." Like you don't already feel like a wretched excuse for a human being!

Real tear-jerkers there!

[H3rmit]

The first pdoc I went to tried to jolly me out of being totally confused about life by asking me to look at how I dressed (workmen's pants and doc martens probably, and I'm female) and how much I ate (not that much, but I wasn't skinny) and pointedly asked me to think about what I'd look like when I'm 40. Who cares? I'd look like me!

He later went on to specialize in gender reassignment, if that means anything.

[Permanent Pajamas]

I'm guilty of offering advice based on personal experience.

Originally Posted by Permanent Pajamas

I'm guilty of offering advice based on personal experience.

Don't feel bad....how else can we, or anybody offer advice without looking at what we've been through ourselves? I read somewhere very recently though I can't remember where, that when it comes to personal relationships, we look at things logical and practically and in a mature manner and can offer OTHERS great advice, but, unfortunately, when we get in the middle of it all ourselves, our emotions take over and we can't do anything right.....

Originally Posted by Permanent Pajamas

I'm guilty of offering advice based on personal experience.

Naw that's not what we're talking about! Giving advice based on real experience is a good thing it's the insensitive ones that say those blanket mantras like "think positive and you'll get better" and just mimize the issue giving you simplistic and unrealistic advice like they have all the answers. I don't see you as such a person so far at all on these forums PP.

[Captainkeefy]

My Doctor told me there's a lot of Depression going around. Like I'd caught it on the train or something. Then when I said I was struggling to work she said we all have a bad day now and then.

I was often told to, "Sit down, and be pretty."

Yeah...like that's gonna happen.

-Fleeing Bellocq, Muse of the Mission District

[ECHOES]

Originally Posted by s4ndm4n2006

This is not about anyone here that knows me. Don't worry I'm not attacking anyone but although something brought this to mind.

Don't you just love people with such simple solutions to your life such as if you're depressed, "well just think happy thoughts", for low self esteem "look in the mirror everyday and say 'I like you' " (really that was from a real life therapist, yeah I saw him ONCE haha) etc...

Any examples you all have experienced like this from people that just dont' understand how it really is?

haha. I know some believe in and have benefited from "Affirmations", but the idea just makes me laugh. I can't help it.

If there was a quick fix, why do others think we wouldn't jump on it and do it?! I think it is them who wants the quick fix

myself, haha, honestly, so yeah, this kind of hits home for me Dx

i'm going to at the very least pretend that i didn't do anything to cause this thread. you don't know me nor i you so it's logical to assume i didn't do it, ha ******blush******

aaaaaaaaanyway.....

yeah, i do that sometimes...a lot...but at least i try to follow my own advice/listen to my own suggestions, and it works most of the time...

except for the self-esteem thing. that's BS, self-esteem is already low and then I am the only one who tells myself i'm pretty? yeah, that does wonders.

anyway...perfectly good reason to only go to that guy once. how ridiculous...



eta...oh, good, you meant insensitivity...i used to be insensitive, haha...but i'm getting better, i think...i hope...blaaaaaaaaaaaaah....

[Big Mama]

thst's it fleeing :

SIT DOWN AND BE PRETTY

just smile, it wont hurt so bad. (liers)

keep telling your self your special. (I can see that now, psyo girl, me, sits in corner chanting your special) oh yeah baby that says sane.

just don't eat. (I'm like an alcoholic locked in a liqueur store, and telling them don't drink. I'm locked in the house w/ food and a fridge, just don't eat.)

just be happy, stop worrying.

If your not sleepy just rest your eyes. (what about the rest of my f n tired soul)

Well this is not turning out to help me be positive. So Ill quit while the night is still young.

[gma45]

Just get over it......is what I heard many many times.

[BelleCat]

I have lost many a friendship due to self-proclaimed fixers. It's even more frustrating when they insist on trying to "fix" you and your problems when really they should just back off. My personal favorite I heard was "If you're depressed, stop being depressed. Happiness is just a state of mind."

[BorderlineMess]

Originally Posted by BelleCat

My personal favorite I heard was "If you're depressed, stop being depressed. Happiness is just a state of mind."

I've heard that a lot. And sometimes, when I'm feeling good, I buy into it a little. I think, yeah, I can keep this up. Just keep thinking happy thoughts. And then life happens and my BPD kicks in and a meltdown occurs.

My family is really, really good at spouting off these one liners. "Just keep at it. Stay positive. Exercise really is the key to feeling better. Stay focused. You can do it. Keep pushing." These are all things my dad says on a daily basis. Generally, when I don't know what to say to someone, I fall back on these as opposed to the awkward feeling of not knowing what to say. I hate that I do it and I'm trying to stop. It's just so ingrained.

One of the things I hated most was when my dad told me (and still tells me sometimes) to stop being so sensitive. This is an incredibly huge trigger for me. It will start a terrible rage in me and it takes everything I have to control it.

I apologize if I've ever come off as being insincere in my responses. I try to stay upbeat for everyone, even when I'm feeling completely depressed or frustrated.

Originally Posted by BelleCat

I have lost many a friendship due to self-proclaimed fixers. It's even more frustrating when they insist on trying to "fix" you and your problems when really they should just back off. My personal favorite I heard was "If you're depressed, stop being depressed. Happiness is just a state of mind."

Well duh it's a state of mind. Now when they have the solution to being in 100% control of their mind tell them to come back and talk to you then. o.O

Originally Posted by BorderlineMess

I've heard that a lot. And sometimes, when I'm feeling good, I buy into it a little. I think, yeah, I can keep this up. Just keep thinking happy thoughts. And then life happens and my BPD kicks in and a meltdown occurs.

My family is really, really good at spouting off these one liners. "Just keep at it. Stay positive. Exercise really is the key to feeling better. Stay focused. You can do it. Keep pushing." These are all things my dad says on a daily basis. Generally, when I don't know what to say to someone, I fall back on these as opposed to the awkward feeling of not knowing what to say. I hate that I do it and I'm trying to stop. It's just so ingrained.

One of the things I hated most was when my dad told me (and still tells me sometimes) to stop being so sensitive. This is an incredibly huge trigger for me. It will start a terrible rage in me and it takes everything I have to control it.

I apologize if I've ever come off as being insincere in my responses. I try to stay upbeat for everyone, even when I'm feeling completely depressed or frustrated.

A lot of those "lines" aren't wrong in themselves, but they don't realize how hard it is to get started, keep it going, and see results. Must be nice to have whatever "normal" emotions are that allow you to easily do the things being suggested.

Originally Posted by BorderlineMess

One of the things I hated most was when my dad told me (and still tells me sometimes) to stop being so sensitive. This is an incredibly huge trigger for me. It will start a terrible rage in me and it takes everything I have to control it.

I've been accused of being "hyper-sensitive" that's like the lowest blow. not just over sensitive but HYPER sensitive you know? Like the epitome of being overly sensitive. ugh.

[ECHOES]

When someone says someone else is Hypersensitive, that is about them, and not about you. It's about their comfort level with sensitivity. Yawn when they say it.

[BorderlineMess]

Originally Posted by ECHOES

When someone says someone else is Hypersensitive, that is about them, and not about you. It's about their comfort level with sensitivity. Yawn when they say it.

This made me smile. Thank you, Echoes.

[Ultra Darkness]

You know what I hate? That song, "Don't Worry, Be Happy". No clue who does it, but every time I hear it, I want to cover my ears and scream. As if it could ever be so easy!

[greentires4me]

I always get people say to me that I am not depressed just needing a walk out in the sunshine to get me happy again.

I told my mental health worker I was feeling despair and hopelessness and her reply to it was " how can we make you happy again?"