[Ultra Darkness]

I am fairly sure I'm bpd, diagnosis or no. But I have to wonder if I have avpd traits for a number of reasons:
1, I was making a phone call once, and dialed the wrong number. I was so embarrassed that I hung up without a word.
2, A few years ago, a couple girls at the park invited me to come to their house sometime. Not only did I never take them up on it (though I wanted to), I never told anyone, either.
3, I hang back and try to be invisible during social events, even when I want to join in.
4, I long to be close to someone, but don't have the courage to talk to anyone. People have to talk to me before I can even get my mouth open.

How much of this sounds like bpd?

not necessarily avpd. Pretty much describes a lot of things I've done/do. Some of the traits for me do come from aspergers, but I think a lot of it can be bpd too. have you looked at the trait differences between avpd and bpd?

[cboxpalace]

It doesn't sound like bpd. It does have avpd like qualities. The co occurrence of bpd and apd is fairly common.
Borderline and Avoidant Personality - The Co-Occurrence of Borderline and Avoidant Personality

[clash]

Originally Posted by cboxpalace

It doesn't sound like bpd. It does have avpd like qualities. The co occurrence of bpd and apd is fairly common.
Borderline and Avoidant Personality - The Co-Occurrence of Borderline and Avoidant Personality

indeed that it is common and great link. thank for this so much.

[MissLadyRed]

I have trouble making the simplest phone calls, I find it extremely hard to strike up conversation with anyone. Sometimes I feel mute, like talking is just impossible. I hide in all social situations too. The only way I can face any social event is getting drunk. I drink too much, I do relax a bit though and end up talking, but then someone says the smallest thing, or gives me the smallest look and I end up in a rage or a crying mess. I'm BPD and can relate to this.

[msshaz72]

Sounds like you are going through a real hard time. The best thing would be be to do is get a proper diagnosis from a professional and then it will become clear. Hope you manage to sort it out then you can learn how to manage how you are feeling X

[msshaz72]

Originally Posted by MissLadyRed

I have trouble making the simplest phone calls, I find it extremely hard to strike up conversation with anyone. Sometimes I feel mute, like talking is just impossible. I hide in all social situations too. The only way I can face any social event is getting drunk. I drink too much, I do relax a bit though and end up talking, but then someone says the smallest thing, or gives me the smallest look and I end up in a rage or a crying mess. I'm BPD and can relate to this.

Oh MissLadyRed how i feel the same as you just really sucks that we have to get drunk just to feel like we can relate a little bit and it feels so unfair

i panic in social situations if i haven't geared myself up for it. i had lunch with a woman a couple weeks ago and for a week before and a week after it i was freaking out and going crazy about every little thing. i can't stand talking on the phone unless i know exactly who's on the line. calling customer service is terrifying, haha, but husband works during the day so i'm forced to call if we need it. i hate leaving the house unless i feel like i'm perfect, or at least mostly, haha, and that's VERY hard to do. and then there's a ton of other stuff, even concerning my husband to whom i am so attached, haha...

basically everything PC says about avpd, i have. can't say the same for the bpd, which is why i'm of the mind that i don't have bpd, that it's actually avpd, but i'm on this forum because no one ever posts on the avpd forum xD

i'm not diagnosed either way with anything but FINALLY a link to some info on bpd/avpd traits! i have been looking but haven't been successful, so thank you!

[Ultra Darkness]

I've looked at a few comparisons between the two. A couple other things I forgot to mention that could be either:
Whenever I post something, I'm terrified of negative responses/reviews.
I tend to dwell on rejection.
I don't usually talk much, even to my family, and I feel awkward when I do.

BPD and AvPD often go hand in hand as it was already pointed out. If I'm in a social situation even with family, I tend to stay solitary unless I have a drink or two. If I go to a party, I'll gravitate towards the few people that I know unless they are already engaged in which case I'll wait for them to make the first move. If I know no one or feel uncomfortable around the people I do know because they are already engaged with others, I'll be the one in the corner. I'll occasionally walk around the room and see if anyone makes a move towards me or if I catch an eye of someone I know but I'm usually not the the one who starts the interaction.

[clash]

it sounds as though you are just shy but if it keeps you from functioning then i would talk to a doctor

[greentires4me]

it doesn't sound like AVPD or BPD...it sound much like Social Anxiety..at least when I am doing any of the following things I get triggered major because in the past I was diagnosed with social anxiety.

((UD))

Hey, you know,
I remember being like this since I was little. They wanted to hold me back in grade school because I didn't socialize or interact like everyone else. It's not that I didn't want to, I was just scared and nervous all the time. Phone calls were a nightmare, talking to people in a store was a nightmare, public speaking was out of the question, high school was hell. Interacting at a party or social event was soooo difficult and like you it wasn't because I didn't want to. I wanted friends more than anything...I was just nervous and scared. I always felt stupid and awkward. There were countless times I've had panic attacks during the prospect of having to interact.

I don't know what happened but I seem to have 'gotten over' a lot of it. I have to deal with people at work on a daily basis and it wasn't unusual to have to do presentations in University, ask professors questions and socialize. (During that time I was still quite anxious and it felt like pulling teeth). Cognitive behavioral therapy helped a bit, but you know..sometimes I STILL feel this way, I often wondered if others had a hard time with this like I do.

If it is really bothering you, a therapist could pinpoint what it is exactly. Personally it sounds like intense social anxiety to me. I only say this because I experience the same thing often enough and have been diagnosed with anxiety - social and generalized along with a panic disorder.

Good question. And I've read enough on here about AvPD that now I'm wondering if some of the things I experience are from BPD or if I also have AvPD. I guess it doesn't matter though, hey? I'm getting counseling; hopefully it will help no matter what I have.

[Ultra Darkness]

Hmm. I think I'll have to look up social anxiety, then.

Originally Posted by Ultra Darkness

Hmm. I think I'll have to look up social anxiety, then.

Just keep up with the research and you'll get your answer. You're going about it right and that's the important thing. Your answer is out there; you'll find it.

[clash]

yep the more research the better!

[Ultra Darkness]

Thanks, guys!