[greyclouds]

Some of you will no that I've had a bad day yesterday.


I self harmed badly Tuesday night over a misread of a text.
I've been trying really hard to find my happy place again but nothing is working.
I thought I got there today but it was short lived.
I think I'm gettin really sick again. All I can think about is how worthless I am.
How everyone loves me but never good enough to be with.
I just hate myself so much.
I can't even look at myself when getting dressed at the moment.
I am the people I hate the most. The people who indulged themselfs in self pitty.
All I can think about is punishing myself for being so disgusting. Worthless. And ugly.
I think I must have been so evil a bad person to end up this way.

But I don't know what I've done wrong. If I knew I could try to fix it make it better. I would.
I don't want to be hated.

Oh god I know I'm really getting sick again. :'(

I wish I could help. I really do. I'm here. That's all I can offer.

[greyclouds]

Originally Posted by Maranara

I wish I could help. I really do. I'm here. That's all I can offer.

Just the hug is enough. Thank you.

I don't know what I'm going to do. I've tried everyone's suggestions to try make me snap out of this and nothing is working .
I think i need to see my doc

I sent you a PM.

[greentires4me]

have a hug or two...

[Ultra Darkness]

I've felt like that to a certain extent all week. I know how you feel.

Originally Posted by greyclouds

How everyone loves me but never good enough to be with.
I just hate myself so much.

I know what you mean about everyone loves you but it seems liek it's just to a point, not good enough to be with you. I know very well what you mean but don't hate yourself. They are the ones missing out not you.

I think I must have been so evil a bad person to end up this way.

Trust me you are anything but evil! You have a personality disorder that is constantly beating you up and making you react badly, and yes, you need to get it under control but it, in no way, makes you evil!

But I don't know what I've done wrong. If I knew I could try to fix it make it better. I would.
I don't want to be hated.
(

You've done nothing wrong in the sense of causing this or bringing all of this on yourself. you are the way you are and who in the world would choose to make themselves this way? and if you didn't choose it, then how can you have made it happen? therefore you have not done anything wrong to make it happen.

and. you're not hated. Most of all not from me, and I think I can speak for most of us here, not by people of pc either

*hugs*
~S4

[MissLadyRed]

I'm sorry about your day yesterday. I feel for you and I'm sending you comforting hugs. The way you feel. You are not alone. I think and feel this way most of every day. I wish I could say more to make you feel better, hell I wish I could take all our pain away, each and every one of us here, but knowing you have support and people care and understand you is the one thing we all have and can give to each other.

[TheRealFDeal]

I can totally identify with the things you said.

[beautifulfreak]

I can totally relate…it's how I am feeling right now.

Hugs and understanding

(((grey)))

How are you doing today?

[greyclouds]

Originally Posted by Buttercup..

(((grey)))

How are you doing today?

I'm doing better. I've keeping busy as much as I can.
I have thought over load when I stop. And last night took ages to sleep.
Was to scared to close my eyes. Flash backs.
It's crossed my mind to have a drink later. But I'm not going to. I'm to scared. Of losing control again.

I'm going to just hold on sober and as they said at group this feeling won't last forever

I'm so glad to hear that you're doing better grey, Flashbacks are horrid

You can send me a message whenever you feel like I really don't mind

[greyclouds]

Originally Posted by Buttercup..

I'm so glad to hear that you're doing better grey, Flashbacks are horrid

You can send me a message whenever you feel like I really don't mind

Thank you Hun, I know your there for me.
It's much appreciated
I hope you are doing okay. I know you've been having a tuff time with things.
Hope it's going well. I know I've not been in here much to help but I have been thinking of you

I hope you're both doing okay Buttercup and Grey. I haven't been very helpful lately; too caught up in my girls who are in town and in life in general to be able to do much of anything. Trying to determine what direction to go in to myself; I have to keep working hard and I have some important decisions I need to try to make. Just hope I don't make the wrong one. I'm here for the next 6 hours or so if either one of you guys, or anyone for that matter, wants to hear from me.

[greyclouds]

Originally Posted by Maranara

I hope you're both doing okay Buttercup and Grey. I haven't been very helpful lately; too caught up in my girls who are in town and in life in general to be able to do much of anything. Trying to determine what direction to go in to myself; I have to keep working hard and I have some important decisions I need to try to make. Just hope I don't make the wrong one. I'm here for the next 6 hours or so if either one of you guys, or anyone for that matter, wants to hear from me.

Thank you. You don't have to apologise tho. I know and I'm sure buttercup would agree with me your here when we need you even for a
I hope your enjoying the time with your girls.

Stupid I know but I just made my first joke in days. And done a stupid dance with emie.
I'd say that's a good sign a little bit of me is returning

[Moraganal]

Honestly I feel the exact same way. I constantly feel like i'm paying for something terrible I must have done. I am constantly on the terrible end of things and I feel like my life and worth are just unbelievably ridiculous and pointless.