[Moraganal]

I've been diagnosed with bpd. My emotions are constantly unstable and my mood swings are awful. But everyone puts disgust on me. I told my mother this guy liked me and she said does he know your mood swings and she's made mutiple comments about. She also passed judgement on me for the perscription drugs im taking when she's a full on alcoholic. Then this guy passes judgement on me only when i tell him my "disorder" I dont get it IM ME NOT SOMNE LAB EXPERIMENT GONE WRONG.

[greyclouds]

((Hugs)) and I'm so sorry,

Firstly I would stop listening to your mother... She sounds like a big factor of your disorder.
How can you even begin to learn who you are, if you own mother is describing you thro drunken eyes and putting you down.

Also, just my opinion... But I wouldn't be rushing to tell new people or boyfriends about your disorder. Not that you have anything to be ashamed of but just because it can be frightening for people who don't yet know us.

It's also frightening for people thAt do know us sometimes.

[dbadams]

Isn't amazing how the people in our lives that are suppose to love us the most are usually the ones who hurt us the most too?
If your ma is suffering from an alcohol problem, she is most likely putting you down to feel better about herself. She might be doing this unconsciously so I'd try not to let her judging drag you down (easier said than done, I know).

Also, I waited a good long while before telling my wife, back when we were dating, about my issues. :-) Don't let a label dictate your life. You are you, the one and only. The label just helps to focus treatment, that's all.

Good luck! Now go break some hearts. ;-)

(((hugs)))

I agree with clouds and dbadams, why is your mother even passing such comments on you? I think as dbadams says your mother is saying these things so she can feel better about herself

This isn't fact, friend...it's perception.
We perceive that judgement is being passed, maybe it is, but we inflate it in our own mind to the unth degree.
People put out what they feel about themselves; their words reflect their self-truth. I agree with Tink - your mother is struggling with her own addiction so displacing it onto another person gives the illusion of the removal of guilt and shame.

The stigma of BPD is also coming into play here. People assume that those who suffer from BPD are all lumped into the same pigeonhole. We are generalized and vilified...which doesn't help our 'victim stance'.
If a BPD is seen in literature or the media in a negative light, we're automatically that person...it's how people work, they categorize and generalize. If one BPD is manipulative, provacative and destructive, we all are. The judgement could be a reflection of the stigma and not of you.

I've also found that my best 'teachers' have been my harshest critics...it's not a pleasant way to learn, but it is a way to learn nonetheless. I think we can get to a place where we can detach from the judgements of others and validate ourselves. At that point the judgements wont bother us. That takes a lot of work...

I completely understand where you're coming from and have been there myself enough times. Best wishes friend.

I do agree with the other members that your mother is most likely hurting and not helping you or the situation. Is it possible to limit contact with her? It has been really helpful for me to stay as far away as possible from my immediate family because they are unable to be caring and supportive in a real, genuine way. They also use my Dx to make themselves feel better about their own bad behavior.

I think because we can be our own harshest critics, would not tell others about Dx. I am starting to think it is more of a label than anything else. It seems to be an umbrella term for coping mechanisms. Nothing more. It doesn't have to be a "bad" thing. WE are not bad.

As we get to know people and settle in, life happens, and we do the best we can. Others will learn that and either be supportive. Or not.

[BrokenNBeautiful]

Originally Posted by Moraganal

IM ME NOT SOMNE LAB EXPERIMENT GONE WRONG.

You sure aren't! I feel the same way! Like ppl look at me that way.

Like I am some unforgivable piece of ***t.

Carol

[DLWest]

Originally Posted by Moraganal

I've been diagnosed with bpd. My emotions are constantly unstable and my mood swings are awful. But everyone puts disgust on me. I told my mother this guy liked me and she said does he know your mood swings and she's made mutiple comments about. She also passed judgement on me for the perscription drugs im taking when she's a full on alcoholic. Then this guy passes judgement on me only when i tell him my "disorder" I dont get it IM ME NOT SOMNE LAB EXPERIMENT GONE WRONG.

Not everyone, we don't and won't!

[BrokenNBeautiful]

some ppl are better about bpd and pwbpd's and they are needles in a haystack, but they do exist.

[Moraganal]

Thank you so much for your replies. It took me a while to read them but honestly I am sick of being put down, I am trying to live my own life happily, but it honestly hard when the whole world thinks it's normal and the "others" who acknowledge their issues are crazy and to be avoided. It's just hard for me to find people who really understand the state of my mind. I'm actually an extremely smart person, with quirks that I need to work out and learn to control better. Unfortunetly even now my mother has continued to pass judgement and your all very correct it is due to her own problems. I just don't understand how a person can be so cruel to their own child. I plan on my children being a part of me, not the walking avoidance.

Thanks again for all your support.