[Ultra Darkness]

The weekend was so stressful...
Basically, it's because of my family. We've been having a lot of trouble financially, so everyone's kinda stressed, but I feel like I'm not allowed to be. My dad's sick, so I can't say anything about my own physical problems (mild chest pain and, as of today, cramps). If I even mention that I'm feeling ill, dad's worse condition is pointed out and I feel bad for feeling bad. My brother talks like he's the only one of us kids who's on edge and feeling sick (gee, him too?), and I don't like pointing out that I'm not feeling great either. As for mom, she's just generally tired and stressed, and I can't say anything about any of this to her.

I feel like my life revolves around my family. My parents' problems come before mine, and as for my brother, he acts like I'm his personal therapist. He spent two hours the other day ranting about moving out, asked my opinion, then spent another three and a half hours planning for when he turns 18. It never seems to occur to him that I don't want his problems heaped on me like that. It's easy helping people on here. I don't have to listen to 5-1/2 hours of ranting and complaining from someone who doesn't like me (and I know he doesn't). With him, though...

I shouldn't have to feel guilty for having problems. But we all do, and since I'm caught up with everyone, I'm the one who has to keep my troubles secret. No one can handle more problems, and I should know, since I seem to be caught in the middle.

At least I can vent here. But it's not the same as having someone close to you who knows what you're going through.

[greentires4me]

is there anyway way you could spend less time living at home and living your life elsewhere?

Well maybe you should of told him he could move out any time he wants to get a life and hold down a job a mcdonalds...that could burst his bubble for sure. Not sure why he has to wait until he is 18 to move out.

I am sorry your sick...I am sick too...I got good drugs to keep things at bay I hope their good meds are expensive over the counter...

[Ultra Darkness]

Originally Posted by greentires4me

is there anyway way you could spend less time living at home and living your life elsewhere?

No.

Well maybe you should of told him he could move out any time he wants to get a life and hold down a job a mcdonalds...that could burst his bubble for sure. Not sure why he has to wait until he is 18 to move out.

It's the whole legal-adult thing.
Also, I should have mentioned that he's been plotting his way out for two years.

I am sorry your sick...I am sick too...I got good drugs to keep things at bay I hope their good meds are expensive over the counter...

I'm not really sick, I just feel it. Thanks, though.

[wadingthruemotions]

No you should not feel guilty for having problems.

Yes we do. Isn't BPD a dang B****.

I am utterly tired of a lot of things and people.

I am sorry you are in this rough situation. My thoughts go out to you and hope you find some balance.

Or you could just blow up like I do, yell it out and say tough crap I need help too. But then that always comes back to bite me, cause yet again I am the crazy one, yada yada.

Sorry I just went off on my own there. If you need an ear, PM me. I will listen.

You shouldn't have to feel guilty, and it's really difficult to feel validated if you are feeling guilty all the time about having problems. I'm sorry that you're feeling this way and living in this stressful environment but I'm glad that you can come on here and, at least it sounds like, you can gain a little bit of validation from those of us on PC.