I'm thinking I have BPD

So I've been doing a lot of research on the internet and in my university's library over the past few weeks, and I'm almost positive that I have borderline personality disorder. I get so scary angry at my boyfriend of 3 years when he's hardly done anything wrong and it takes me days to get over it. Then of course I feel terrible about lashing out at him and I try to talk to him about it, but since time will have passed since the incident he won't see that there's anything particularly to talk about, which makes me feel even worse. I feel like he's about to leave me all the time and that terrifies me, but then sometimes I feel like he can't do anything right and I just want to run into the arms of the first guy who smiles at me on the street. I'm depressed all the time for what seems like no reason at all and I've been hurting myself for years.

I have been feeling hopeful lately since I'm starting to understand my behavior a little more, and because it seems like with therapy it could get better, but I don't know how to talk to my parents about it and I'm still on their insurance (I'm 20) so they'll have to know if I want to go to a therapist. Ughhhh

I'm a lot like you. I haven't been officially diagnosed either but after researching, reading threads, watching videos, etc....it makes the most sense. Do I want that to be the case ? No way....no one wants to have BPD...I would rather not have an arm or leg or be blind than have that...but in the end the best things we can do to take care of ourselves....even when it feels the whole world is against us or thinks we are evil....is to find out the facts, get a proper diagnosis, accept reality, and work through treatment. It's a commitment that most of us borderlines find it hard to make, but you can do it ! There is a lot of really great support out there these days. And please listen to me and stay away from sites articles and forums that bash people with bpd....they do not help. They almost killed me. And an unhealthy relationship only triggers your symptoms more. Do what's best for you first only then can you make amends. Best wishes, love, and hugs.