I need help with this

I hava a friend that is older than me that I have gotten very attached too. Recently we had a misunderstanding and I ended up suicidal. I could not imagine living without her in my life.

We worked things out but I know this is my last chance. I know that making a person that important that I would take my own life if I lost her is not good. But I don't know how to break the attachment. I have backed away from emailing her but I miss her when I don't hear from her. I am no way in love with her, this is more of a mom type attachment.

I am looking for brutal honesty and I will try to respond. Cavi

Hi Cavi,
I have BPD and often find myself attached to other people in ways that are much too intense. I am struck by your great self-awareness re: this entire situation. With your ability to see that this is not healthy, I think you might just need to re-calibrate your attachments. I always try to remind myself that my first attachment needs to be to myself...and that at the end of the day, all we have is ourselves. That doesn't mean we are alone, just that all we have ultimately is ourselves. I know that when I take better care of ME, then I have more to give others.

My brutal honesty: I hope you can find a few ways to be really super good to yourself this weekend, ways that indulge all the great parts of being YOU.
Sending a big hug,
Hopeful Camel

Thanks Cavi, you told some of my story, but it's the other way around, she's a younger woman.

This makes total sense to me. Thanks I emailed her and told her that we needed to have a serious talk about our relationship. Cavi

Hello, Cavi.

You asked for brutal honesty; here is mine...

There is nothing, absolutely NOTHING like being loved, accepted by the person we are so desperately attached to.
Being conscious of the process is great.
That does not mean we no longer crave the attachment.

All the very best to you!