[MichikoUsagi]

Do you tell people about your BPD? People you don't know well? Do you try and live your life knowing that BPD is just a fact and a part of you so it's not something to be ashamed of?

People often ask why I don't have a job, so I'll lay it out on the table that I have BPD and don't have the mental stability to hold a job or do much of anything. They usually just respond "Oh okay" and change the subject, lol.

Is it something you throw out quickly, throw out at all?

[jadedbutterfly]

I do not get specific, I say I am on disability... it's really none of their business why I can't work.

[MichikoUsagi]

I agree with that! I should have been a bit more specific, the question is more about if other people with BPD hand out that knowledge freely or if they're a bit more reserved on it.

[Edda]

Originally Posted by MichikoUsagi

Do you tell people about your BPD? People you don't know well? Do you try and live your life knowing that BPD is just a fact and a part of you so it's not something to be ashamed of?

People often ask why I don't have a job, so I'll lay it out on the table that I have BPD and don't have the mental stability to hold a job or do much of anything. They usually just respond "Oh okay" and change the subject, lol.

Is it something you throw out quickly, throw out at all?

Since being a bpd person is not my fault I am not ashamed of it. That said, I only tell it to those who can be affected by it. I certainly don't "throw it out quickly".

I have once met a woman who was somewhat quick to let everyone know that she had bpd and I felt very uneasy about it. It sounded like an excuse and simply not taking responsibility for her actions. I don't ever want to come across like she did.

[GeorgiaGirl413]

I generally do not share my diagnosis. I work full time though so don't have to deal with the question that you are dealing with. I think that most people would describe me as "difficult". I know it's because of my illness, but I doubt it would do much good to try and explain it to most people. My personal thoughts are that you carefully pick and choose who you tell.

[HealingNSuffering]

I tend to be pretty open about it, but if it doesn't concern that person I won't tell them. Besides my psych team only my best friend who knows and some family members. I heard its more stigmatizing from mental health workers many people simply don't care. My T told me many of her colleagues say that we can't be healed from BPD and we are not repairable. She told them that's some b/s because she is living proof.

[GeorgiaGirl413]

Originally Posted by HealingNSuffering

I tend to be pretty open about it, but if it doesn't concern that person I won't tell them. Besides my psych team only my best friend who knows and some family members. I heard its more stigmatizing from mental health workers many people simply don't care. My T told me many of her colleagues say that we can't be healed from BPD and we are not repairable. She told them that's some b/s because she is living proof.

BPD can and is healed!!! It's just that it's tough and lots of T's don't want to put the time or effort into 1) learning the skills to help folks with BPD and 2) actually putting in the time and effort to help us. Marsha Linehan who developed DBT to treat BPD is a borderline herself. Tell her we can't be healed!!!!

[HealingNSuffering]

Originally Posted by GeorgiaGirl413

BPD can and is healed!!! It's just that it's tough and lots of T's don't want to put the time or effort into 1) learning the skills to help folks with BPD and 2) actually putting in the time and effort to help us. Marsha Linehan who developed DBT to treat BPD is a borderline herself. Tell her we can't be healed!!!!

I know like I said my T is living proof that BPD can be healed, she told them they were wrong. These therapists she was talking to probably just didn't have any success in their practice with BPD patients, often because they don't know what its like. My T is the best I've had out of 5 because she can relate to my symptoms and I also trust her more because she has been there before.

I would limit who you tell about it to people you know well enough to trust. I wouldn't throw it out to an acquaintence or someone you're just getting to know. After all you don't know that they'll take it well and also it's not any of their business at that point. Those you spend time with and know very well are the ones that matter anyway.

[allme]

I wouldn't tell everyone, just ppl that are close to me so they know why I freak out sometimes or go missing for months at a time but there is no need for anyone else to know. Ppl love to judge IMO and it's just giving them ammunition and something to gossip about!

[IndieVisible]

It has nothing to do with being ashamed of it or not or being open or not. I would strongly advise anyone NOT to tell anyone of their mental condition no matter what it is. First of all it's nobodies business! Second of all it can come back to bite you because people like to talk and pretty soon you may become the local crazy person. Why give anyone information they can use to hurt you? I never could understand why some people feel they need to be so honest and open to other people? Specially NOT at work! I tell no one any thing about myself except my doctor. And even then I am careful.

Originally Posted by IndieVisible

It has nothing to do with being ashamed of it or not or being open or not. I would strongly advise anyone NOT to tell anyone of their mental condition no matter what it is. First of all it's nobodies business! Second of all it can come back to bite you because people like to talk and pretty soon you may become the local crazy person. Why give anyone information they can use to hurt you? I never could understand why some people feel they need to be so honest and open to other people? Specially NOT at work! I tell no one any thing about myself except my doctor. And even then I am careful.

While I understand the protectiveness of your personal issues, I partially agree. When you say it it sounds like you're saying it's never anyone's business and on a certain level that can be true but with friends, loved ones and very close people there comes a time when it may be important to share more of yourself in the name of being closer and intimacy (not sexual intimacy but emotional) Just the same as any real detailed and personal stuff it is very true one should keep this to themselves in most situations..... but if you ever want to have a real friend that understands you at your inner core it's completely unavoidable to eventually share this stuff.

Again though I reiterate that this is with very close and trusted people though.

I have only told those whom I am close to and I can trust, Most of my family just don't understand Mental health.

[IndieVisible]

Yea I get that I just don't agree with it. I see no reason for them having to know any of my personal issues. No one. Family or close friends. I see people do it a lot, even to me and I'm like thinking, why are they telling me their personal business? If you have a very close friend you can trust I can see it, may be. I realize we are all different and some people simply feel better getting things off their chest. Or talking about it with other people. I get that. I would still advise against it. It really can come back and bite you! I've seen it happen many times. Couples getting divorced bring out all their little secrets to use against the other. At work throwing others under the bus to get ahead. People gossiping about some one when they are not around. etc, etc.

Originally Posted by IndieVisible

Yea I get that I just don't agree with it. I see no reason for them having to know any of my personal issues. No one. Family or close friends. I see people do it a lot, even to me and I'm like thinking, why are they telling me their personal business? If you have a very close friend you can trust I can see it, may be. I realize we are all different and some people simply feel better getting things off their chest. Or talking about it with other people. I get that. I would still advise against it. It really can come back and bite you! I've seen it happen many times. Couples getting divorced bring out all their little secrets to use against the other. At work throwing others under the bus to get ahead. People gossiping about some one when they are not around. etc, etc.

yeah what level of privacy different people need varies I'll agree. What I'm saying is for the most part to really know someone well, you have to kind of share more than you would with the general public or even acquaintences. I totally understand your view and am relatively private myself. TBH as for my family (extended family of sisters and brother etc) I wish they didn't know as much as they do about me!

[Edda]

Originally Posted by IndieVisible

It really can come back and bite you! I've seen it happen many times. Couples getting divorced bring out all their little secrets to use against the other.

I actually think that a would be or existing partner/spouse/bf/gf has every right to know about it. BPD does affect relationships and people have the right to make an informed choice whether they want to commit to a person with BPD or not.

[Zangie.x3]

Originally Posted by Liverbird

I have only told those whom I am close to and I can trust, Most of my family just don't understand Mental health.

Same here. I tell them only because they are close, which means I'll give them an answer to my strange behaviours.

[shortandcute]

I'm reluctant to tell my oldest sister, because she thinks that mental illness is always faked or a result of sin and/or demon possession.

Originally Posted by GeorgiaGirl413

I generally do not share my diagnosis. I work full time though so don't have to deal with the question that you are dealing with. I think that most people would describe me as "difficult". I know it's because of my illness, but I doubt it would do much good to try and explain it to most people. My personal thoughts are that you carefully pick and choose who you tell.

I'm in the same boat. I also work full-time and where I work, in an emergency department, there tends to be a stigma surrounding people with mental illness simply because when we see patients with a history of mental illness, they are often displaying the worst of their symptoms. My friends know about my diagnoses to varying degrees, as does my family, but I really don't talk about it much. I have to function as if there were nothing wrong, so I really don't talk about it that much. Sometimes, but not too much.

[Zangie.x3]

Originally Posted by shortandcute

I'm reluctant to tell my oldest sister, because she thinks that mental illness is always faked or a result of sin and/or demon possession.

We really relate :\ What about having a whole society that doesn't care about psychology like it doesn't exists.

[MichikoUsagi]

Thanks for all the opinions guys!