[MoxieDoxie]

to a therapist?

[GeorgiaGirl413]

OMG, No. I can't imagine anything worse to tell you the truth. But that's just me.

Such evil things should not be spoken here. HA! Just kidding done being silly. No, and I never would either.

[cluelessgluten]

No way. I could not image having everything I say and do psychoanalyzed.

Yeah that would do my head in! It's bad enough having to go see one every other week!

[Lmats]

The reactions on this thread are funny! No, I've never heard of anyone with BPD being married to a therapist. I mean, we all know that therapists are groaning in their heads when they come across a BPD patient, so I think the dislike is mutual.

[GeorgiaGirl413]

Originally Posted by Lmats

The reactions on this thread are funny! No, I've never heard of anyone with BPD being married to a therapist. I mean, we all know that therapists are groaning in their heads when they come across a BPD patient, so I think the dislike is mutual.

No, I never said anything about dislike. I have liked all my therapists (some more than others, admittedly, but I have liked them all) and I think that most of them liked me, though I know that I have been a challenge to them, and have said and done some very hurtful things to them in the course of therapy. But the idea of being married to a therapist....but, in thinking about it, it seems that we really don't think about them as real people do we? Just like the rest of us, they are not their professions, and I doubt that they are "analyzing" everyone 24/7. Otherwise, they'd never have a life outside of work. So, would I marry a therapist? The knww jerk reaction is no. But, would I marry someone who made their living as a therapist? I don't know, maybe. I've never had the opportunity to date one to even see.

[Luvmydog]

My wife has a degree in Psychology, but is not a therapist. I think that her knowledge in the field may have helped in our relationship, as it has given her a little more understanding of the overall dx, but she doesn't overanalyze every little thing that I do. It seems to help her understand that when I am going through a rough patch, that it is just me, and has little to do with her. Triggers come and she waits for the waves to stop crashing, so to speak, until she responds. In that way, our communication and relationship have both become stronger. I don't think our relationship would be this healthy however, if she were a practicing therapist. She has enough to deal with right here, lol. No need for other patients.

Originally Posted by GeorgiaGirl413

No, I never said anything about dislike. I have liked all my therapists (some more than others, admittedly, but I have liked them all) and I think that most of them liked me, though I know that I have been a challenge to them, and have said and done some very hurtful things to them in the course of therapy. But the idea of being married to a therapist....but, in thinking about it, it seems that we really don't think about them as real people do we? Just like the rest of us, they are not their professions, and I doubt that they are "analyzing" everyone 24/7. Otherwise, they'd never have a life outside of work. So, would I marry a therapist? The knww jerk reaction is no. But, would I marry someone who made their living as a therapist? I don't know, maybe. I've never had the opportunity to date one to even see.

Well put. I never said that either. I mean I personally don't think that any of my Ts have disliked me at all! I mean, granted BPD is difficult but they've chosen their field and I'd like to think that they know what they're getting into from the get go.

Another thing is, it's best to look at Ts as to what their specialties are if you can choose one that specializes in bpd or personality disorders at the very least. That way you can avoid any potential dislike for dealing with bpd.

[MoxieDoxie]

My T is OCD married to a BPD.....i know this because he does a ton of disclosure and compares me to his wife at times. He also does not know much about BPD because he can barely explain it to me. His wife did a year of DBT and he said he read about DBT and thought it was boring. He thinks it helped a little for her but feels she improved because his parts relaxed towards her moods.

Now if he can not help her how can he help me? Oh thats right....I do not have BPD! I am also parnoid she might be on here and figured out I am her husbands client or that he is on here and can figure out this is me. It would really explain his total attitude shift towards me and it is not for the better.

iI have titrated sessions.

[cluelessgluten]

Moxie, If it were me, I would find a new doctor.

[MoxieDoxie]

Am I being ungrateful? Should I feel privledged that he shares his personal mental health issue with me? I am having a problem with wrapping my head around this. By him disclosing information I have judged him and deamed him uneducated or experienced or just ignorant to help me.

I am titrating our sessions at this time and have contacted another therapist to get into a therapy group(not DBT). I have another T I see everyother week who is the voice of reason and I respect very much. So I will see him and do the group therapy once a week.

[Luvmydog]

That sounds like a good resolution to this problem. It almost sounded like he felt that all BPD fits into a neat little box, and if it didn't work for one, or something, it can't possibly work for another. I'd see the other T, as you said you were going to do.

Originally Posted by MoxieDoxie

My T is OCD married to a BPD.....i know this because he does a ton of disclosure and compares me to his wife at times. He also does not know much about BPD because he can barely explain it to me. His wife did a year of DBT and he said he read about DBT and thought it was boring. He thinks it helped a little for her but feels she improved because his parts relaxed towards her moods.

Now if he can not help her how can he help me? Oh thats right....I do not have BPD! I am also parnoid she might be on here and figured out I am her husbands client or that he is on here and can figure out this is me. It would really explain his total attitude shift towards me and it is not for the better.

iI have titrated sessions.

It's not so much that he shared the information with you that bothers me, it's his laissez-faire attitude toward it. Read about DBT and it was boring? It's not a novel! He sounds very un-knowledgeable about it and doesn't sound like he cares to find out more. The fact that he can't help his wife is very telling.

I would see another T, and I think that your decision to do so is a good one.

[MoxieDoxie]

I am a mess right now.........I wasted so much time with him. He was going to be my hope. Now I feel like a failure instead of feeling like he failed me. I am all over the place with how I am seeing this. I emailed him to cancel the Thursday appointments and I though for sure he would at least question why but no a word from him. I was secretly hoping he would want to try and process all this and help me with the emotions I have. I feel like the extra crutch I had has been knocked out from under me even if it was a shacky crutch it still was a crutch.

[GeorgiaGirl413]

Originally Posted by MoxieDoxie

Am I being ungrateful? Should I feel privledged that he shares his personal mental health issue with me? I am having a problem with wrapping my head around this. By him disclosing information I have judged him and deamed him uneducated or experienced or just ignorant to help me.

I am titrating our sessions at this time and have contacted another therapist to get into a therapy group(not DBT). I have another T I see everyother week who is the voice of reason and I respect very much. So I will see him and do the group therapy once a week.

I am not grateful when my mental health providers share their issues with me. The last one who did so nearly wore me out. I almost felt like we had swapped roles at times. I guess it's because I'm an RN who does counseling they feel some colleagueal(sp) relationship. I told this new therapist in no uncertain terms that I did not want to hear about any of her traumas, dramas or her mama. I think that when they share like this they are trying to show us that they know how we feel, but for me it just doesn't work.

[allme]

No but my hubby sure is like my own personal t sometimes....he has a wonderfully level head and keeps me level when needed. I feel very lucky to have him as supportive and understanding as he is. But to marry an actual T.....no, I don't believe I would (if single of course)