BPD - Effective medications

I am "inbetween" meds right now. I have never tried not being on meds and have always believed the same as MA. I'm not resistant to taking them but right now am not up to the trying and being disappointed by meds. I used to be on a "cocktail" but was never really sure which ones were doing the job or if it was actually the combination of all them working together.

I agree with everyone's point of view. Got some good chatter going on thanks guys and gals - this is helping to put things into perspective .

I think it's important that we are able to maintain control of our emotions. I believe that good therapy in itself: can create enough awareness - to help maintain our emotions. I am personally beginning to see the need for meds, in order to minimize the overwhelming emotional storms that occasionally come out of nowhere - and completely set me off course.

My therapists in CBT and DBT were of the belief - that meds were not going to help me. I respected this idea - felt good that my psychiatrists and therapists declined medications on my behalf. They were insistent in not taking them because my emotions would be 100% raw - in full force - and in being 100% raw - I could utilize DBT and CBT skills while in their supervision - and potentially gain more control over them without the necessity for meds.

This worked for me. However, the program was a 30 day intensive outpatient program - and as soon as it was over - I was kicked out and suddenly without therapeutic supervision. I realized that my daily interaction with my therapists was actually more useful in my ability to maintain control over my emotions, than being trained CBT and DBT skills. As in - my emotional connection with them was helping the most. (Hence BPD) But as soon as it was no longer possible to see them - upon completing the 30 days - I became overwhelmed and without a solid enough foundation to handle everything by myself.

So, going on meds - after they had suggested not going on them - despite being trained in DBT and CBT - to me it was a mini failure. I wish I could deal with it all with just my CBT and DBT, but I don't think I can.

Thanks,
Hd7970ghz

200 mg topamax
20 mg lexapro
40 mg Prozac
20 mg enderol

It's been working well for me. The topamax is what I'm on specifically for the bpd.