Do you know who you are?

Hi all, hope you're all well!

I've just been sitting here thinking about how I don't really know who I am, and how I've felt this way since as far back as I can remember. I know identity issues are common with people with BPD, so thought I would post and maybe we could all talk about how we see ourselves, and how we deal with our identity issues?

When people ask me to introduce myself, I never really know what to say about ME. About my character. I just tell them my name, age, hobbies, that I'm engaged, etc.. But shouldn't there be MORE?

Curious to hear your stories, thoughts, ideas, etc.



~Angel

"Tell me about yourself" possibly the hardest question ever at the best of times.

Name and age, well at least they are solid facts so can't go wrong there.
Hobbies (i volunteer with kids) I don't know whether I do it because i actually enjoy it or its just something I've done for so long its habit, or it was my escape as a kid and still see this place i go as a "safe place" or maybe another reason.
My character, well that's just a massive can of worms i'm afraid to open, Who/What am I?? Is what I let others see the real me?, probably not. Is the real me actually everything i keep bottled up inside - the rage, the urge to scream and shout, punch and kick everything and everyone. Is that the real me - I hope not.
I don't even know what i really want to achieve in my life, career, family, the type of place/home I want to live in.

But then you can't answer the original question "Well i think i'm a decent person" or something like that because that just sound weird

It's a really hard question to answer.I can definitely relate to some of what dumburn is saying. It's easy for me to talk about some hobbies, like playing the synth/writing music, or, more recently reading poetry. I go to school and can easily tell people about my major. Beyond that, I've struggled with the whole "Who am I?"

Honestly, I do my best to be real and authentic with people. That said, what often happens is certain traits recede with certain company. It's not something I do on purpose, it's more that I seriously lose these things if that makes sense. And, like you were mentioning dumburn, there's a whole lot of myself that I keep suppressed. I crave true closeness, but the pain and dark thoughts that I walk around with can feel really, well...inappropriate. Yeah, this is a good question, Wiltedxdaisy. One thing that helps me is to remind myself that all humans are dynamic. No one is completely static or set in their ways. I'm working on accepting that I change a lot. I think as long as I know that I'm doing what I can to be authentic, even if I change things in my life, I'll work on accepting that about me. We'll see how that goes

I am useless........... I think it is pretty clear.

If I'm ever asked this in class or an interview I immediately get anxiety. I have no idea. I don't even have any hobbies. Drinking was my hobby but I guess I can't say that. I don't know who I am, where I'll go or what I want. All I know is that I'm an emotional mess and I can't decide which way I want to be today! I feel so lost a lot of the time..

I can relate. I know what I do, but I have no idea who I am.

oh love i know how ya feel! awkward silences and thinking of owt interesting. small talk does my head in hate going to hairdressers for this reason feel like an alien. and when i get ten weaknesses and ten strengths to write about dont find strengths. but im sure we would be able to talk and find each other interesting then feel identity assurance.
people dont understand. i get a lot of support off community team i talk a lot now they get their heads done in lol. but im lying about my self harm now.x
you take care and i believe it a good thing to be reserved i sometimes let too much out with people i shoulnt.
always borderline

[quote=wiltedxdaisy;3341951]Hi all, hope you're all well!

I've just been sitting here thinking about how I don't really know who I am, and how I've felt this way since as far back as I can remember. I know identity issues are common with people with BPD, so thought I would post and maybe we could all talk about how we see ourselves, and how we deal with our identity issues?

When people ask me to introduce myself, I never really know what to say about ME. About my character. I just tell them my name, age, hobbies, that I'm engaged, etc.. But shouldn't there be MORE?

Curious to hear your stories, thoughts, ideas, etc.



~Angel[/quot

I consider myself the ultimate borderline...
I am 42
it's pure nuts' to get this far

...anyway...there are things that happen...

they just do... we meet people but they don't know what they are.

the rest is up to people and time.

nobody can know just how we will be affected..."exactly"

...but I promise you... we will be affected

hold onto your heart...real tight

I am the same. I thought by the time I was in my 40's it would be different but no.

I am a wife and a mother, beyond that I am a major screw-op I hate the tell me about yourself question...

I think most people don't know how to answer that question but for us? with identity issues? even harder.

I don't know who I am either, half the time I don't even know how to answer with my hobbies etc.. I don't enjoy things like I used to so I will just start ranting off what I know I "used" to enjoy, or what I thought I enjoyed, I used to change like a chameleon and my interests, goals, hobbies and values were always what others i was interested in was, or even role models because i can't figure that out for myself. what I used to think that I liked in my life and sometimes when i'm desperate i'll answer that question with the way I think i want my life to be. What i'm planning to create for myself at that time "even though it changes from day to day"..

"who are you, or tell me about yourself".. Major anxiety question..

Not really. Sometimes I think I do but then it changes and then I don't know. I seem to be influenced by someone who I'm idolizing... I want to be someone with a stronger sense of identity though, I just don't know how.

Wow everyone, thank you for responding and sharing you stories, ideas and advice. It pains me to see so many of you struggling with the same things, and I wish I could give each and every one of you a giant I hope someday we can all figure out who we are, or at least what we want out of life. Keep fighting everyone and keep sharing your stories, you are all important and deserve to be heard.

Fk if I know
I've worked very hard at not chameleoning anymore, something with which I have struggled since age 12 and was very hard to not do. I now know what I like and dislike, buuuut, fk if I know who I actually am.

Yes, theeeee most dreaded interview question is "tell me about yourself".

No, no, no Useless Me! You are not useless. If anyone is, its me. Cant even walk, cant drive, and the bpd stuff. Feel better!

I have not be able to find my authentic self. I do not know who I am, what I want to do........day to day my desires and needs seem to change. Like a morph daily. I can not make any plans for the weekends because I know If i say yes by the time it comes I have not desire. So I isolate and avoid. Makes things easier. I can not stay committed to anything. Mind mind keeps changing or I seem to lose interest. Most days I just hope I die.