[atomicc]

So today I went into my therapist's office shaking like a mad woman and breathing heavy. She said to me "Out of breath I see?" I said "No, I'm extremely anxious right now for two reasons". I explained the first, today is two months since we found my best friend's body, and then told her I had something I wanted to talk to her about. I handed her the list of BPD symptoms I had typed up here . She read the first line and immediately started laughing, she looked up at me and said said, "Wow..this is exactly what I wanted to talk to you about today. I can't believe we had this same exact agenda, that's amazing". We then had a lengthy talk about numerous things on the list and she told me she was going to bring up to me today that she believes I have borderline personality disorder. It felt so relieving to actually have a professional opinion on this finally, I have thought it over and over for so many years. I would go into much detail now but I just wanted to say...well I guess I'll be posting here some. I've got a book she lent me on DBT exercises and plan to pursue DBT therapy once I have to leave here (I'll be graduating so no more counseling center).

Any advice for a newly diagnosed Borderline?

[allme]

That's great news! I don't mean it's great you have BPD but it's great that you have something you can work with. So here now starts your journey to recovery All I can say really is, knowledge is power and with therapy and the right meds (if you choose meds) there's hope you can ease your symptoms.

[technigal]

Originally Posted by allme

That's great news! I don't mean it's great you have BPD but it's great that you have something you can work with. So here now starts your journey to recovery All I can say really is, knowledge is power and with therapy and the right meds (if you choose meds) there's hope you can ease your symptoms.

I agree with allme, having the diagnosis gives you something to work with. I did not want my diagnosis but knowing is part of the solution. Great that your T was thinking along the same lines as you.

[atomicc]

Originally Posted by technigal

I agree with allme, having the diagnosis gives you something to work with. I did not want my diagnosis but knowing is part of the solution. Great that your T was thinking along the same lines as you.

I agree with both of you! I was happy at first to finally have my belief reinforced and be able to go on knowing what to work on. I am scared though now..starting to feel a little nervous.

[greentires4me]

start with the breathing exercises...

[duende]

Hi Atomicc,

This is a really good step. Doesn't it feel better to have gotten that off of your chest? And even better that your therapist is on the same page? I totally know where you're coming from in needing a, well...the way I see it...reference point.

Oh, and I couldn't help but mention that like you, I'll be graduating this semester. And, somewhat like the situation you mentioned, I'll be losing my Psychiatrist (but keeping my T). Anyway, I just wanted to say...congratulations on your upcoming graduation!

Duende

[technigal]

Originally Posted by atomicc

I agree with both of you! I was happy at first to finally have my belief reinforced and be able to go on knowing what to work on. I am scared though now..starting to feel a little nervous.

Having the diagnosis does not change who you are. You are the same person you were before the diagnosis but now you know the things that cause issues in your life. Your therapist sounds like she really wants to help you and that is half the battle - finding someone who is supportive and can help you through the tough times.

What I have started to do (and it seems to help me) is when I am reading stuff on BPD I write down how it affects my life. So symptom 1, applies in xyz, symptom 2, does not apply etc. All the books I have been reading put everything in different order so I write both the symptom and the things that I notice in myself and the title of the book. Right now my brain is in a fog and so if I don't write it down I will forget immediately.

And don't feel nervous, we are here to be supportive.

[wiltedxdaisy]

Hi atomicc,

I actually just sent you a PM a little bit ago to check in with you and see how things went. So glad to see a post from you, and how weird that your therapist and you were both thinking the same thing at the same time! Sounds you are pretty tuned into yourself!

I see you've already gotten some great advice from everyone here! Just wanted to so kudos to you for recognizing that you needed help and being brave enough to bring this up to your T! Like Techigal said, this does not change you, you are still the same wonderful you, now you just know a little more about how you can help yourself to feel better! BPD is one of the most misunderstood mental health diagnoses, so I am glad that you have researched this and that you have been given some resources and are even looking for more advice! All great steps! Definitely look into DBT, either individual or group, or even both (some people find it more beneficial to do both at the same time.) Just something to think about. Also, I'm glad you'll be sticking around here, because I find talking with other people who have BPD to be very beneficial for me. You can PM me anytime if you'd like to talk more, or I will see you around the boards!

[atomicc]

Originally Posted by technigal

Having the diagnosis does not change who you are. You are the same person you were before the diagnosis but now you know the things that cause issues in your life. Your therapist sounds like she really wants to help you and that is half the battle - finding someone who is supportive and can help you through the tough times.

What I have started to do (and it seems to help me) is when I am reading stuff on BPD I write down how it affects my life. So symptom 1, applies in xyz, symptom 2, does not apply etc. All the books I have been reading put everything in different order so I write both the symptom and the things that I notice in myself and the title of the book. Right now my brain is in a fog and so if I don't write it down I will forget immediately.

And don't feel nervous, we are here to be supportive.

Thank you so much! Yes I've actually been hungrily reading all of the information I can on BPD. Before I had an actual diagnosis I didn't really want to read too much because I thought "well what's the point you don't even know if you're bpd so stop reading into it". But now the more I read it's like "Oh my god..this explains so much" Like the Psychotic-like Perpetual Distortions (Lapses in Reality Testing). I never really read much into it and now I am and it makes so much sense. I have a lot of days or moments where I think I'm not real or I'm dead or asleep and not really here. I also have this constant paranoid delusions that every one is always staring at me and noticing all my flaws and thinking I'm awful.
I always just thought they were my little quirks..

[atomicc]

Originally Posted by wiltedxdaisy

Hi atomicc,

I actually just sent you a PM a little bit ago to check in with you and see how things went. So glad to see a post from you, and how weird that your therapist and you were both thinking the same thing at the same time! Sounds you are pretty tuned into yourself!

I see you've already gotten some great advice from everyone here! Just wanted to so kudos to you for recognizing that you needed help and being brave enough to bring this up to your T! Like Techigal said, this does not change you, you are still the same wonderful you, now you just know a little more about how you can help yourself to feel better! BPD is one of the most misunderstood mental health diagnoses, so I am glad that you have researched this and that you have been given some resources and are even looking for more advice! All great steps! Definitely look into DBT, either individual or group, or even both (some people find it more beneficial to do both at the same time.) Just something to think about. Also, I'm glad you'll be sticking around here, because I find talking with other people who have BPD to be very beneficial for me. You can PM me anytime if you'd like to talk more, or I will see you around the boards!

I am definitely looking into DBT groups as well, although there doesn't seem to be any in my area. I'm definitely sticking around here.. I don't have any friends really and NONE that would understand this. You guys have been a great help to me with my other issues and I'm sure it will continue

I'm glad you and your T are on the same wavelength and you've got your diagnosis. I hope it's helpful in that you get the treatment you need. Good luck!

[wisedude]

Wow, all my best friends and people I love have BPD.

I live with two women they have BPD.

Oh and I have BPD (but I'm a guy).

I'll tell you what I have learned that I think may be of use to you. I have been diagnosed since I was 13, and diagnosed many times indeed. I am 38 now.

* Having good social supports is very important. You want people in your life that are supportive of you, see the good in you, and are tolerant of your problems. You want to be VERY careful with relationships, cause well I have seen many BPD women get involved with the wrong sort of guys (abusive). Get rid of anyone in your life that is excessively critical or negative towards you.

* Avoid drugs and alcohol. Don't abuse any drugs to feel good, this can end of destroying the lives entirely of people with BPD.

* I personally think too much emphasis is put on therapy at the moment. Therapy has its place, but I think its sort of a "trend" that medication is not used much. Antidepressants in most cases appear useless but low doses of what are called "atypical nueroleptics" or "atypical anti-psychotics" can be helpful in some cases. However there is a definite risk of side effects that needs to be taken into account, and the dose needs to be on the low side. I personally take 150mg per day of a drug called Solian (amisulpride), which is certainly very helpful. However no drug is going to be like a miracle to you. Zyprexa around 2.5mg - 5mg is good, but it too often causes weight gain via massive appetite increase. It makes you tired at this but this goes away.

Benzodiazepines like valium or xanax are VERY bad for people with BPD, these drugs can make people with BPD go NUTS.

* Work on having a positive self image. If you treat people well, then you should value yourself. Being a good friend to those you care about, is the most important thing I personally believe. You need to learn to like yourself. So many BPD problems come from a lack of self esteem and negative self image.

* Reduce stress in you life. Do what it takes to keep away from putting too much pressure on yourself. People with BPD have trouble with too many pressure/stress.

* It takes time to recover from BPD. It is a slow process, not something that happens over night. But there is strong evidence, that with a positive mindset, and working on your problems, that as you get older, things will get better.

Best wishes!

[TheRealFDeal]

Well, to say congratulations seems a little weird, but kind of appropriate. I think you are lucky to know this at an early age when changes are easier to make. I did not find out until I was in my mid-40s, though I found out later that I had been Dx'd in my 20s and not told. Probably because there wasn't as much known about it. DBT is also not available in my area; too bad, because I think it would help both therapeutically and socially (being forced to interact with others, because I'm very isolated and hermit-like).

Lots of good advice given here. Just a word from my own experience with Benzos: I tried them all in low doses and they had absolutely no effect on me. My current pdoc has prescribed a much larger dose of Xanax which works great when I'm simply so overwhelmed that I need to just be "put down." Which means I can only take it when I'm prepared to be knocked out. (Now I wonder if some dose in between would be helpful w/o putting me out.) Anyway, it may be a moot point if you do not have a need for benzos.

BPD is a bit of a *****. So many negatives. But understanding it reduces my self-hatred at times..........

As for group. I LOVE my group (DBT) therapy. It really is the ONLY two pleasant hours of my entire week. I struggle to survive the "down times" and can not wait to get into group, only to dread leaving when group is over.

** Sorry that sounded kinda crappy. My POINT was supposed to be - go to group - they are awesome. I find a really strong comaraderie with the other people there.