Just So Limited

Yeah, pretty much... She doesn't see how much I am fighting to be able to give her that.... And when I first offered, I was feeling pretty confident about it even, but she changed it and now it scares the hell out of me... Don't tell me to take control if you're gonna keep taking it away from me. Just don't...

It's not even so much that I feel like I am unlikable... There's just so much wrong with me that L has been the only one who has stuck with me to listen to all of it. Everyone else has acted enthusiastic at first, then walked away the second they realized it wasn't just a bad day... But then I feel bad talking to them later, because I haven't told them everything they need to know, so they can't understand where I'm coming from....

Quality scares me because people get burnt out.

She's pushing too hard, but she has no way of really being able to truly understand that or what you are going through.
Now that I'm sober I really don't get burned out being there for my friends, but it feels like many don't appreciate it. It gives me joy to help others and be there for them, and also distracts me from my own issues.
Because so few understand that's why I like PC. The admins do a great job keeping conflict, drama, and trolls away from the forums, and I'm able to bond with others who are going through what I am.

I like PC (obviously), because it is a controlled environment, and for me, it's like my emotional Facebook... I can be the happy person everybody wants me to be on my actual Facebook, but I can let go of that on here... The difference is, talking on the internet is nowhere near the same thing as talking to someone in person and being able to feel them with you... I am a very touchy person...