Why do I put up with him.

I must be blessed with the inability to hate.

My brother is proud to be my "main detractor". He constantly says things that pull me down, calls me b**ch on a regular basis, and even accused me of lying when I was simply working on misunderstood information. He's critical and harsh, but he often acts like it's a big joke, like I should be amused by his creative insults.

Non of which stops me from being concerned when he starts talking about moving out. He's only 17, and he talks about moving like it's a simple matter of having enough money, choosing a location, and getting a job. I feel like he doesn't really take it seriously, and despite everything, it worries me. Even worse, he accuses me of trying to dampen his spirits when I try to figure out just how well he's thinking it through. I can't say that I'm just worried either, because he's already convinced that I only care about myself.

Gah. What a mess.

Sorry in advance, but I have brother issues too.... personally I would start saving money and give it to him and tell him to GTFO.

but that is me. NOT ideal.

First off, Welcome back, Ohhhh dark one XD

No matter how bad some of our loved ones might treat us, especially our siblings usually we continue to care about them so there is nothing strange there.

He is 17, but he's also a guy. Typically guys will have the "itch" for independence even sooner than a female will. (again, this is just a general statement and there are exceptions) So I can understand his anticipation of doing so. It's a part of becoming a man and independence is important.

I can understand your concern, but also, you might ask yourself is it only your concern for him that is motivating your worries? I know that in spite of your difficult relationship, he's remained an important part of your world and he is part of your comfort zone. As he talks more of moving out it threatens this security of what you know and I think that may be part of why you're worrying. I'm not saying there are no other factors... his view of it being kind of like it's not as serious as you might think may be very real but I really wonder if your fears of a kind of "abandonment" are amplifying your worries that are legitimate? Something to ask yourself.

His moving out at some point is an inevitability. I would say nurturing your relationship with him will be the best way to ensure you continue to have a brother around even though it may not be something you necessarily see as soemthing you need right now. Support him even as it may be something that you disagree with. It is in the end, his decision.

I would try to find ways to ensure that he does it wisely, help him to find a place he can afford, finds a job that will support himself and such. In the end typically people do what they want. Although I know your worries are out of concern, and I don't think you're thinking of yourself alone at all like he says, if all you're doing is opposing everything he is saying on this front, it is going to inevitably look that way.. reality isn't a factor here, intentions are never something the other person can see without our making them clear. If your intentions are to keep him from leaving you, reassess your motivations. If your intentions are fro him to be well and make a good decision, support him by helping him to do so

Hope this helps and glad to see you're bad *hugs*