It scares me...

how quickly I am slipping into SI mode here lately. It seems that that has become my "go to" before anything else. The battery died in my car this past week-end and my first thought was to just end it all, that I couldn't deal with things any longer. Over a dead car battery. Really? Even I know this is stupid and completely over-reacting. I hate feeling this way. And BTW, I got jumped off, got a new battery, and went on my merry way. Took all of about 45 minutes.

Very relate-able story GG.

Sometimes I feel like really old drama-queen (and wrong gender too).

But - often I feel like "screw it" is the best response to ANY crisis.

I know what you mean so well. I have had complete emotional blowouts over things I knew were, or should be trivial things.

I wish I had the answer to this but truthfully I still struggle with it a lot.

I'm sorry you're having such a tough time. I can relate to the SI, I think when things aren't good in general it's just so much easier to slip into bad habits / ways of thinking at the smallest trigger. I have found it helpful to have a list of things I'll *always* try first.

Great idea Starling...I need to create something similar to work with.

GG and others: I am so sorry for all the pain shared here. But I take great comfort in knowing I am not alone. As I am typing this response, I am battling similar thoughts.

I'm using PC as a distraction until I feel calm enough to sleep, which hopefully is soon. Sorry guys, not my post, but I caught myself bout to ramble about me.

I feel ya. When something like that happens I have similar thoughts.
Are you currently in therapy? Definetly something to mention if you are. My old therapist used to have a lot to say about what he called "Radical Accepeence".
*Hugs*

I know what you mean, precisely. 'Nothing' imposes itself as 'everything' at times. So, too, 'everything' one is concerned may create 'something,' sometimes doesn't magnify into 'anything.' I try to remind myself that 'it' is not as difficult as it appears and that getting to the other side is possibly more a speed bump than a blockade, as tough as it is.

This is so true. Such a great analogy reference! I never worded it quite like this before but I, in a sense, convince myself of exactly the same thing.