What is wrong with me?

So today i am leaving my house and I slip going down the steps of my deck. Unfortunately I am not hurt and go about my my business. Yes,I am really disappointed that I didn't crack my skull open and end up in the hospital or worse. Seriously,what the eff is wrong with me? Why am i so upset that I didn't get seriously hurt when I fell?

I do this all the time, I just always figured I was the worst most self loathing attention seeking idiot until I got on this forum and noticed a couple things people have said seemed similar!
For me, I want the pain, but more than that I want the sympathy that comes with being seriously injured in a way that people can actually see. The pain I'm always feeling is invisible to people so they don't know that you always need help, a broken leg is pretty clear to everyone.

Maybe thats why I feel this way too. People can't see or even understand when you are hurting mentally. And when you tell them they don't know what to say or do. I agree about wanting the pain. Feel like I deserve all the pain I get and more. So now i'm sitting here getting drunk.

Pretty much this.

Yup. I want physical pain (not SH) so that others will notice that I am in pain. No one sees the mental pain and are most likely not aware of it so they don't acknowledge it.

I know exactly what you mean. I felt this way after telling my mother what was going on with me and hoping she would understand. I tried to explain to there the best that I could what was going on but she just wrote it off as things everyone goes through.

A few minutes later she gave me a lecture on getting my driver's license and what I needed to do and she would help me with whatever I had to do be able to get it. I had no response, I told her that I wanted to get seek help with whatever was going with me and foe her that was that. There was no compassion or sensitivity from her.

After that I was just wishing that I had a physical injury that was just as debilitating as this mental pain. I don't know why everyone thinks I'm so strong. I know I have been a burden to everyone around me, I'm just finding out why. I want more than anything to not be that anymore but at least if I was hurt physically they could understand my pain.