[henrydavidtherobot]

Sometimes, when I look at the def for BPD, I'm like "this is totally me." Then again, I feel that some things that I know that most people who have BPD have are things that I don't struggle with, such as:

A) I've never been suicidal. I've had a brief history of self harm and sometimes have a strong urge to in order to "punish myself" to get over a strong emotion (typically self-loathing), but I can always talk myself out of doing anything with the exception of a slap with a hair brush.
B) this is going to sound bad, but most people that I've met with BPD have done some heinously mean things. I'm not perfect, but I'm not mean.
C) here's the big one: I don't struggle with anger. Sometimes, I get "cold" when I'm mad (which scares people), but my T says that I'm actually better than most people when handling anger in interpersonal situations.
D) I don't mind being single. However, I can't stand if I'm not sleeping with someone.

Then again, I match everything else perfectly. Years ago, I fit the other criteria too. Things used to be so bad that I would dissocsociate while cutting myself (I couldn't remember it, but I could see myself do it as if I was above me), was in an intense abusive relationship, and got drunk every night.

Can anyone relate with not meeting the "big" requirements?

[ScarletPimpernel]

The problem with the criteria from lets say the DSM IV is that it is actually too generalized.

Example: I started reading Linehan's book. In it, it talked about how not all BPD's under control their anger. Many over control it. So if you express your anger too much OR try to keep anger pushed down, you still met the criteria.

Also, overtime, due to experiences, and education (even therapy), the symptoms can lessen and even go away. I was told that there are over 200 ways BPD can present itself. So very few of us fit the mold exactly.

When I'm able to stop SI'ing, I don't even meet the minimum 5 out of 9 criteria...but I still have BPD.

[monochromatic]

Robotfriend,

I know we both post on the BD board, and i'm somewhat comforted to see you here. I am currently feeling the same as you, and actually my list is almost identical to yours, except for D (I'm always in a longterm relationship).

Just letting you know you're not alone.

[Starling.]

Yeah, I relate. I don't have anger issues, or significant interpersonal issues. The only criteria that I really relate to are self-harm (in the past) and mood swings, kind of. I realize that to be diagnosed, the psychiatrist must have noticed other issues, but I don't - it would have been nice to have it explained to me!