Ex wives

I found this to be funny.

My ex is a ****.

There is no reason for your bf to remain in contact with his ex if it bothers you. I really don't understand why anyone would want to remain in contact with their ex to be honest. I think you should just ask him to change his number and be done with her. That seems like the simplest solution.

My personal opinion though is your issue is with him and NOT with her.

Agreed, to a point. She still is a *****.

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The main thing you have to remember is you have no control of his actions therefore punishing yourself for something you have no control over is counterintuitive. It took me 3-4 years to understand this simple concept and yet I still experience bouts of extreme neurotism that leads me to believe I need to be punished. It feels like being persecuted by the lack of control.

I actually used to hit my SO and myself in my rages and my SO would hold my fists to stop me from raging. (Worst part iwas I blackout out or disassociated so it took several years for me to understand I was harming him) If you guys are going in for the long haul, boyfriend needs to learn not to blame for negative behaviors and not enable your behavior. My SO never blamed me for my inability to cope, and only encouraged new positive behaviors I learned through therapy. I noticed he blamed you which iant conductive to healing. So was also good at walking away when things got heated and he knew I was totally irrational.

Im not saying your situation was and I would have reacted simiarily because that is a very crude comment to make and it is worse that he was still talking to her throughout December. This may be a sign that he -also- has issues with maintaining healthy boundaries and maybe a good time to look into a workbook you guys can do together...however, ultimately it comes down to your ability to trust your boyfriend despite this. I know from my own relationship that it can be done but its difficult. However, rarely is love perfect.