[ScarletPimpernel]

After 5 weeks of being upset with my T, I finally was able to come to terms with everything. So this week I get brave and finally get the courage to verbally ask her for a picture, a letter, and a soft object. Oye! My T, of course, challenges me. She'll give me a version of each of those things, but not exactly what I want. So for an object, she "lends" me her favorite book...

I go home heartbroken. I'm so upset, I send her a very emotional email. I try compromising by writing her some "truths" I've been keeping from her.

I feel better after sending the email. And then I see my T's book... I start reading it... S***!!!

"Love is not simply giving; it is judicious giving and judicious withholding as well. It is judicious praising and judicious criticizing. It is judicious arguing, struggling, confronting, urging, pushing, and pulling, in addition to comforting."

Would I rather have my T's love or an object? Personally, I want both, but her love is more important.

Now I regret my email, and feel bad that I didn't trust my T more. She cleverly taught me a huge lesson. And it makes me more proud that I didn't stop seeing her when things were difficult.

Lesson for this week: balance is the most important aspect...even if you don't like it at that moment.

[Fuzzybear]

"Love is not simply giving...in addition to comforting"

Sounds to me like this T may have a good grasp of how to love.... As a T (etc)? Sounds like she genuinely cares about you

She is proving herself to be trustworthy

Proud of you too that you didn't stop seeing her when things were rough. That shows strength

Balance...

Therapy can be a challenge for both the client and therapist. It sounds like you are a good fit for each other, and I'm sure she will understand about the email.