Not fair

I'm (very gratefully) in a DBT group. Two weeks ago I told my therapist that due to a medical procedure I would be unable to get to the next Group session. We are under contract to miss only 2 times without just cause or be removed from therapy. Anyway, she said that she didn't want to "give me permission" not to come to Group and that I had to call the day of our meeting. I said okay knowing full well that I wouldn't be able to make it. I put her card out on my table to remind me to call in. The day comes and I end up calling 911 because I feel like I'm having a heart attack. I spend the day in Emergency. Now my therapist still tells me that I am being docked the day. It's just not fair. When you feel like you are having a heart attack and are semi-conscious on the floor waiting for an ambulance to arrive you are not exactly thinking about making phone calls. Am I thinking wrong? I'm feeling very, very upset about this.

This does seem unfair; I'm sorry you have to deal with this. I don't mean to be rude, or prying- but maybe she might think you have a disorder concerning illness? Does she have any reason to think you're a hypochondriac or just desperately trying to get out of seeing the group? (Just so you know, I don't believe these things about you, I'm just trying to find reason as to why she would be so stubborn about a thing like this)

heart attack? I greet it with open arms. It is death without resorting to suicide. A win-win in my mind.

No that's not fair, I would make my case again and if necessary get my doctor to write a letter.

I think you are absolutely right to feel upset and invalidated. If it were me,, I'd be seeking a new therapist.
I hope you're medically ok.

jean
I had a similar problem with the day hospital.....they had to release me because I had a pdoc apt, and couldnt do both the same day...because of insurance...the day places have these really strict guidelines about missing a day...they cannot change them, because of insurance-which now rules the hospitals, doctors and even the pharmacies...these insurance companies are the bane of my existence...making everything 3 or 4 times harder than it should be.....I agree it is wrong, but they are at the mercy of another person they have to answer to....I feel your pain, as I have lost my day group (which was wonderful and supportive)....hugs for you to stay strong!!!

Thanks so much for your help. No, she has no reason to think that I was just trying to get out of Group. I actually really like going and feel that it's helping me cope with the world. Same with "hypochondriac?". No reason to think that. I am going to try to once more to try to get her to understand. If she won't change her mind, I'll just have to accept it and go on.

Oh, please, don't say that. I don't want anything bad to happen to you. Are you getting help?

Thanks for your suggestion. I just might try that.

Yup, I'm good. It took about a week to recover my strength and the 5 pounds that I lost, but I feel okay now. Thanks for the validation. I shall try with her one more time.

I am so sorry to hear that you are having such a hard time. We certainly don't need more hurdles than we already have. I feel so badly for you. Losing a "wonderful and supportive" group isn't fair. We need all the help we can get. I hope something works out for you.

I hope it doesn't come to that, but keep us updated. Wish you the best of luck!

I also think that's very unfair. I am also in a group programme with the same policy, miss more than two sessions and you get kicked out, which does not look good on your file! I have missed 2 sessions without phoning in on two separate occasions and both times have been contacted by one of the facilitators to ask how I am, is everything okay and please come back to group because you have been missed. That's how these things should work. A bit of understanding for people who are struggling. And my reasons were to do with my disorder, which in a way are less valid than yours which was physical and nothing you could do about it! I do hope you get it sorted. We do need all the support and understanding we can get.