First day of the rest of my life- Laid OFF

Today is the last day of my job. I found out monday in a room of abot 20 people that our positions were ending on Friday. This is the most positive way I've ever lost a job, I have to say. I have about an hour and 45 minutes left of my shift. I've applied to abouy 70 jobs since monday on career builder(while at work- no internet access at home).
I'm getting really anxious. Which isn't new for me, however I lost my job due to no fault of my own (got unemployment and everything) about 3 years ago. This was a major loss for it, it was a management job right out of college. I have a sociology BA but with a background in customer service to pay for school I ended up managing a cell phones store. The property manager had a unexplainable dislike for me and somehow my company had to get rid of me to keep up relations.
I'm an extremely kind person- of course I may have snapped when my authority was infringed on... I didn't ever get corrective action for my attitude... It most likely did make me loose my job.
Years and thousands and thousands of miles later- i've moved across the country and got the 2nd best job of my life (2nd to the one i was fired from without cause) and now I've lost that too.
I'm lightyears emotionally from how destroyed I was after loosing the first job.. i stayed unemployed because the unemployment wages were honestly higher than any job I would consider taking at the time, so I went down down down deep in my head.. despair. I have a incredibly had time accepting bad things when they are no ones fault. So i blamed myself, i blamed my district manager, I blamed the property manager.
But what happened was that I got so obsessed with figuring out what I did wrong and consumed with anger, hate, despair, selfdefeat, self hatred.. that I ripped myself apart and the ripped appart my boyfriend at the time. Looking back I can't imagine the burden I put on hime... all the while with the emotionally strung out outlook of I hate you, don't leave me.

SO NOW.. I'm in the best relationship of my life, I'm self sustained (except for now being unemployed) Everything has been amazing in my life recently. I've taken ownership of areas in my life I need to work on and I feel like i've made new pathways in my brain and the pathways that reverted to angry, pain, hate, blame, suspicion, are fading from disuse.

So my question is now- what do I do monday. My boyfriend will be at work. I will be alone. I DO have codependence issues still.. still get stuck in my head, even in the company of others. I can only pet my cat for so long. I'm afriad I'll fall, climb, rush, deep into depair, undermine my progress and destroy my life again.

I feel Vital.

Sorry to hear about you losing your job. You've already been very proactive in applying for new positions and I hope that these will start leading to offers soon.

As for Monday, use this weekend to make a plan about how you are going to use your time on Monday. What tasks and chores around the home need doing? Now is the time to catch up on a few of those odd jobs you've been "saving for a rainy day". Make a list of all these tasks and cross them off once you've done them. That way you can see that you're using your time productively. Are there any volunteering programs in your area that you can get involved in, keeping busy in the company of others is a great way to stay positive. Even if there aren't any formal programs you could get involved with, do you know any neighbours, relatives or friends who could do with a bit of help? Volunteering, whether formal or informal will look good on your CV and you could learn a whole set of new skills.

Let knowing how hard you've worked and how far you've come act as your incentive to stay positive. Keep busy and be the strong person that this thread shows you know you can be.

I'm packing up my desk. I even feel kind of happy. We aren't suppsed to talk about being let go... So my coworkers in the cubicles around me aren't even saying goodbye to me.
I've privately gathered my references and am leaving in 8 minutes.
Wish me luck.

good luck ....or now to your destiny its only a leap away.