[isntlifewonderful]

I met her last summer and I guess we really get each other. I love her so much. She's the most wonderful person I've ever met. But we both have BPD (and PTSD but that's less important right now) and I guess... that complicates things. A lot. I'm a pretty pathetic human being. Clingy, needy and paranoid. But I try so hard to be good for her. Cause she deserves that. I'm in love with her and she knows, though she claims it's "too good to be true" and that if we started dating I'd "see how disgusting she is". I don't know if I want her that way though hah. It'd probably just ruin everything we have. Anyway, when I feel like **** I tend to get clingy and paranoid as ****, because I'm so scared she's gonna leave. No one else really matters to me. And sometimes I start fights over nothing and start accusing her of wanting to leave me and realizing how much of a bad person I am.... sometimes I'm even dumb enough to threaten to commit suicide. She'll get upset and devastated, claiming I keep ruining everything but that this wouldn't have happened if SHE wasn't such an awful person. The next day we're telling each other sweet things, talking about how much we love each other again. When she's feeling extra ****** however, she often (not always though, sometimes she actually lets me give her my support) shuts everyone out... and I can't stand that. She's doing nothing wrong, but I ALWAYS become convinced she hates me... she replies after a few days, when I feel like **** and... hell breaks loose again. These fights are just ****ing hard to get through. I know they're my fault, and trust me, I'm trying to stop doing those things but I just can't act rationally when my emotions take over. Don't get me wrong, she's the best thing that ever happened to me, and she'd tell you the same about me, but this is too destructive. Anyone else been in the same situation?

[ginaaa22]

im not in the same situation but can understand why you are acting the way you are...i act the same way and it is really hard to control it. my fiance has ptsd really bad from being in iraq and it makes it really hard for us to communicate and work things out because we are both having alot of problems. i just try and remember that i love him and i want to be with him no matter what and he understands why i am the way i am. sorry i cant help you more...hope things get better for you

[isntlifewonderful]

Originally Posted by ginaaa22

im not in the same situation but can understand why you are acting the way you are...i act the same way and it is really hard to control it. my fiance has ptsd really bad from being in iraq and it makes it really hard for us to communicate and work things out because we are both having alot of problems. i just try and remember that i love him and i want to be with him no matter what and he understands why i am the way i am. sorry i cant help you more...hope things get better for you

I'm so sorry. It does feel awful when you accidently trigger them doesn't it? But it's nobody's fault, PTSD is just a terrible thing to live with and BPD is just as hard. Is he getting any treatment? The important thing is to be there for each other and love each other. I know. That's alright, thanks for sharing your story. Hope things work out for the two of you aswell. <3