[ItGoesOn]

Hi! So lately I've been seeing a psychiatrist about a lot of issues I've had with anxiety and depression. My therapist in the past has sensed that I have symptoms similar to those of borderline personality disorder and recommended I see a psychiatrist to figure out if this was true since I tested likely for it on their tests they had me take. I'm honestly really scared I have thought for a while that my symptoms were all anxiety and depression related but am not sure if I actually have this problem or not. What were some of the symptoms you all have or noticed before you were actually diagnosed. I know I have mood swings and can feel very distant from people at times, I defiantly don't like feeling close to people and I can be fairly dangerous and impulsive with things like drinking a lot and having casual sex with people. I can control these things to an extent but just really have no idea if I have BPD or these are just symptoms of my anxiety and depression (and OCD)or if those things are coming from BPD. Oh and I also have some problems with pathological lying which I've been working on controlling but is difficult and pulling people in just to push people away. Please let me know of some of the symptoms of whats going on with you all and how you dealt with things. Thank you so much for all the help!!

[skyxblue]

My diagnosis is actually bipolar, anxiety, with traits of bpd. But I believe I have more then traits and not bipolar. Some of the symptoms I found out when I really examined myself were putting everything into a relationship (almost to a point of obsession) and then I push them away, extreme mood swings, breaking up with partners before they can hurt me and then regretting it, low self esteem and self image,, anger, distructive behavior, and feeling all over the place with my emotions. Everyone is different. I hope I helped some for you.

Before I was diagnosed with BPD I had never heard of it, My psychiatrist described to me what it was and I also looked it up on the internet and it fits me well.

I was and still am self injuring, Suicidal thoughts, I am terrible with relationships, I push people away, I crave for love of others, I have always felt different, My feelings are mostly numb.

When are you seeing your psychiatrist?

[littlemiss44]

I have low self esteem issues. I over think and over analyze most everything. I think people are out to get me. I'm always in emotion mind but remembering I'm in dbt therapy to help with all these issues. U used to be very promiscuous but thankfully that has gone away. I've self meditated for 28 years but have been sober for almost 3 years. Bpd also makes me yearn for love but I easily push people away. I don't trust people and I don't like being told what to do. I hope that helps you understand bpd better.

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[Espresso]

A year before anyone thought to diagnose me with BPD, I was going through a particularly difficult time. I was suicidal and depressed, and I was searching the internet to try to see if there was something actually wrong with me or if it was all in my head. Depression fit, but the mood aspects of BPD fit even better... the mood swings, the numbness, excessive anger, turbulent relationships, and also the love/hate, fear of abandonment, suicidality, self-injury, and impulsiveness. I brushed it off though because the website I was looking at said that people with BPD are manipulative and attention-seeking, and I honestly didn't think (and still don't think) that I was like that.

Finally, a psychiatrist mentioned that I could have BPD. At first, I was shocked. But when I sat down and looked at a book about BPD, it was as though the book was written about me.

I still deal with a lot of those symptoms, and I can definitely identify with much of what you wrote. But at least now I'm more aware of these destructive behaviors and can better control them (sometimes).