The BPD Daily Check in Thread #4

shakespeare47 · Aug 07, 2014, 12:57 PM

I've been making it a point to stay away from my parents... now my mom has breast cancer and is having double-mastectomy tomorrow.. I'm not looking forward to seeing them.

Notoriousglo · Aug 07, 2014, 02:10 PM

"You wonder why I can't let go, but I wonder how you could move on."

icantfiguremeout · Aug 07, 2014, 07:36 PM

the ups and downs are so incredibly hard...and then to try and make sense of my feelings...why they are so chaotic....everywhere...hell I would be happy to just be able to say I feel "****" but I can't...because I don't really know how I feel from one moment to the next...except for empty...I always feel like an empty shell of a nothing and I hate that I don't know why!

Bubbles&Buttercup · Aug 07, 2014, 08:06 PM

Haven't been on here in months, but I'm now staying with my bro in a different city and I have a job interview in 4 and a half hours. I haven't worked in 8 months, I'm freaking the F**out. Not stressed about the interview, I think I'm worried I'll get the job and lose my shiiit again.

I missed you guys, hope everyone is doing okay. x

Aug 07, 2014, 09:04 PM

Slept with the light on the first time in months.

Not even all that certain what set me off.

isntlifewonderful · Aug 08, 2014, 10:24 AM

Another one of A's friends is abusing and trying to rape her. She still idealizes him like crazy... sigh... I'm terrified of him hurting her and she gets so mad when I'm trying to tell her it's not right and that she deserves better.

Espresso · Aug 08, 2014, 10:48 PM

I would like to report that I got through a potential crisis today without hurting myself, deciding to kill myself, calling for help, or generally losing my head and name-calling or yelling. If it had continued longer, I might have done some or all of the above. It was a victory if only a small one.

Aug 08, 2014, 11:29 PM

I am doing really well. Some of you know me--I haven't been around this site in at least a year. Hope you've all been well. I started nursing school in May, and am on track to graduate October 2015. I just finished my first semester with a 4.0 which I'm really proud of, considering a year and a half ago, I was hospitalized and just barely functional enough to keep a job. School stress throws me for a loop sometimes. It got me out of my semi-isolated comfort zone and forced me to be with other people. This causes some of my BPD symptoms to boil up, and there have been a few dark days. I'm hoping that I can keep them in check; I need this, need to graduate. The illness can't keep winning all the time, you know?

Anyway, sorry. Tl;dr...I know. Bottom line: I'm really doing well. Hope you all are, also.

Bill3 · Aug 09, 2014, 12:02 AM

misskeena:

Congratulations!

Thanks for letting us know how well you are doing!

Bubbles&Buttercup · Aug 09, 2014, 05:35 AM

It's one of those days where everything gets to me more than it should. Every little comment seems like a mean insult when normally I would know it was just a joke.
This wasn't how I wanted today to go. I want to sleep the rest of it away.

Achy Turtle Armor · Aug 09, 2014, 07:06 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by misskeena

I am doing really well. Some of you know me--I haven't been around this site in at least a year. Hope you've all been well. I started nursing school in May, and am on track to graduate October 2015. I just finished my first semester with a 4.0 which I'm really proud of, considering a year and a half ago, I was hospitalized and just barely functional enough to keep a job. School stress throws me for a loop sometimes. It got me out of my semi-isolated comfort zone and forced me to be with other people. This causes some of my BPD symptoms to boil up, and there have been a few dark days. I'm hoping that I can keep them in check; I need this, need to graduate. The illness can't keep winning all the time, you know?

Anyway, sorry. Tl;dr...I know. Bottom line: I'm really doing well. Hope you all are, also.

I don't know you but I think it is great when people, such as yourself, come back to let us know how you are doing. It is also important for us to hear success stories. It is a bit of hope that I know I can use to keep me motivated. Good job and keep up the good work. You should be proud of yourself.

Astriferous · Aug 09, 2014, 09:27 AM

I've been doing okay this week. Yesterday, I became too depressed to do much at all, so I worked on knitting as a way to cope. It's only 10 am where I am, but I'm already feeling very melancholy. I guess I'm just having a really hard time accepting the fact that having BPD traits means that some people will leave me...