[Samwise_23]

Hi all,

My attempts at getting a pen friend and engaging on the site have been unsuccessful, a couple of weeks ago I stopped going to work and I'm trying to get an agreement to retire. More and more I feel it's important to stay close to home and find it more difficult to go out without my one local friend. It's great having my dog.

Is this the way you folks find BPD?

I'm concentrating on dieting now and starting to train again. Anxiety levels are very high.

Is this what I should expect even with meds???

Paul

[trying2survive]

Originally Posted by Samwise_23

Hi all,

My attempts at getting a pen friend and engaging on the site have been unsuccessful, a couple of weeks ago I stopped going to work and I'm trying to get an agreement to retire. More and more I feel it's important to stay close to home and find it more difficult to go out without my one local friend. It's great having my dog.

Is this the way you folks find BPD?

I'm concentrating on dieting now and starting to train again. Anxiety levels are very high.

Is this what I should expect even with meds???

Paul

i fine BPD to be a roller coaster ride, every single day. your mood can turn on a dime.
one false word and wham that's it, day's F*****, or one good word and cloud 9.
intense emotional highs and devastating emotional lows.anxiety,paranoia a lil bit of everything..that's the short answer, hee hee

[JadeAmethyst]

This IS exactly what it feels like for me also. I have found that the closeness to home and creating my life each day is better as I come to accept and release the expectations of "supposed" to be. Paul, you have started working out, taking care of your body sounds like a beginning!
This is a frustrating start and stop process it seems for me personally.
It is hard to find "just the right" this or that to live with any illness it seems. I'm not fond of roller coaster rides but some days it is just like that....miserably up and down and all over. Meds do help me personally, and exercise and diet. Good places to start.
The anxiety....stress, pain, frustration, check in with the Anxiety forum, they have some ideas.
Are you taking meds? I take Celexa 20mg and Xanax as needed for anxiety/panic attacks. Meds do help, and the times I been off of them are harder than when I am on them,....
Good luck and good health
your friend,
Jade

[Verity81]

I'm currently not working but due to go back on a phased return in a couple of months. I push myself to go out, daily if possible. It really helps my mood. Meds do help with anxiety but the way I'm going to have to beat it will be through exposure and increasing my self compassion.

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

[Samwise_23]

Originally Posted by trying2survive

i fine BPD to be a roller coaster ride, every single day. your mood can turn on a dime.
one false word and wham that's it, day's F*****, or one good word and cloud 9.
intense emotional highs and devastating emotional lows.anxiety,paranoia a lil bit of everything..that's the short answer, hee hee

Couldn't agree more! Just I'm finding all this difficult now. Only recently diagnosed and although very pleased to have a demon to fight now, with a name, just want to know if everyone has the same issues. Finding and keeping people in my life is difficult and I seem to keep saying the wrong thing!!!!

Paul

[Samwise_23]

Originally Posted by JadeAmethyst

This IS exactly what it feels like for me also. I have found that the closeness to home and creating my life each day is better as I come to accept and release the expectations of "supposed" to be. Paul, you have started working out, taking care of your body sounds like a beginning!
This is a frustrating start and stop process it seems for me personally.
It is hard to find "just the right" this or that to live with any illness it seems. I'm not fond of roller coaster rides but some days it is just like that....miserably up and down and all over. Meds do help me personally, and exercise and diet. Good places to start.
The anxiety....stress, pain, frustration, check in with the Anxiety forum, they have some ideas.
Are you taking meds? I take Celexa 20mg and Xanax as needed for anxiety/panic attacks. Meds do help, and the times I been off of them are harder than when I am on them,....
Good luck and good health
your friend,
Jade

Thanks Jade it's good that you're still about. I have a journey now and it won't include work. My nurse is backing me and seems to feel that to get well I need not to have the additional pressure of the senior jobs. Time to rest and get my head right or come to terms with the fact it never will be.

Paul

[Samwise_23]

Hi Verity,

Thanks for the note. It's good for me that you have often replied, few do. I go out about half the week at the moment but trying to walk the dog every day and run three times a week. I can only go by the route I know, I need support to go to new places. I haven't been into town alone for some months. Is this common? Or am I over reacting to the diagnosis?

Paul

[losinghope]

Hi Paul!
Good Morning, well, it's morning here I don't think you are over-reacting to the diagnosis, it just sounds like you may be a bit overwhelmed. You will learn to deal with the roller-coaster rides, and some days you won't have them at all. I was diagnosed BPD 19 years ago; some days I still feel like it is brand new and I struggle to deal with it. But this illness is not you, it is just something you struggle with. The fact that you are starting on a physically healthy program will help your mental health, too! Having a pet helps a bunch!
Good luck to you! Come back and talk to us!
Autumn

[Samwise_23]

Thanks for a very intuitive reply. One question, why has it taken until I'm 55 to get this recognised? Have I given in by fighting for a diagnosis when I clearly felt something wasn't right? I hope I get to sound as grounded as you in the future. Out of interest; where is here and there?

Paul

[trying2survive]

Originally Posted by Samwise_23

Couldn't agree more! Just I'm finding all this difficult now. Only recently diagnosed and although very pleased to have a demon to fight now, with a name, just want to know if everyone has the same issues. Finding and keeping people in my life is difficult and I seem to keep saying the wrong thing!!!!

Paul

i know what you mean, saying the wrong thing, reacting the wrong way
impulsive decisions, it's tough, no doubts there. all we can do is take it day by day and try to get better!

[Samwise_23]

I'm concentrating on training and getting my physical health back. It's been years so tough starting but it allows me to focus. Keeping myself around this small area will I hope keep me out of trouble. I can't see me getting better until I get to retire and access to my pension. Sorry I'm that age!!!!

Paul

[henrydavidtherobot]

I withdrew myself from most social things after I had been battling the urge to for a while this fall. It was therapeutic and needed to an extent, but I also isolated myself a bit too much. At this time, I was still working, going to school, and doing extra curricular stuff. I think that it's good to take breaks to reflect, revamp, and heal old habits, but it sounds like you're isolating too much to me.

I think that BPD people need to get used to being alone. We are misunderstood folks and can be too needy on others at times. It's important that you do things even if there isn't someone to do them with you.

[Samwise_23]

Originally Posted by henrydavidtherobot

I withdrew myself from most social things after I had been battling the urge to for a while this fall. It was therapeutic and needed to an extent, but I also isolated myself a bit too much. At this time, I was still working, going to school, and doing extra curricular stuff. I think that it's good to take breaks to reflect, revamp, and heal old habits, but it sounds like you're isolating too much to me.

I think that BPD people need to get used to being alone. We are misunderstood folks and can be too needy on others at times. It's important that you do things even if there isn't someone to do them with you.

Maybe I got my words all wrong, I'm a tad confused at the moment. I agree with what you say completely about the general stuff. For me however the isolation is that break you talk about. I've had years of the education field at a senior level and I'm sick of the Back stabbing and constant need to have a double or more life. The isolation, for me, is going to be part of the healing process. But.... You're right, I'm still out walking, seeing my kids and doing stuff. I'm also here trying to make friends and find out what it takes to survive with BPD. I hope I will be less isolated by chatting here.

Not sure if any of that made any sense at all. Hey, many thanks for your words.

Paul