[ItGoesOn]

Hi guys! So I've been going to therapy for awhile because my GP thought I might have some anxiety related problems from all the panic attacks I've been having away at school but since seeing a therapist she believes the anxiety and some depression might be part of a bigger more underlying problem so I have to see a psychiatrist to deal with why she thinks might be BPD. I've always had a sort of emptiness I've felt with life but I thought that stemmed from depression. I'm very impulsive, sometimes in a bad way, with drinking, piercings, shopping, even promiscuous activities. I also occasionally self harm sometimes for stress and sometimes I'm not really sure why, maybe a distraction. These are mostly controllable but I have had some problems with pathological lying in the past and relationships where I tend to pull people in just to push them away once they start to get close to me. I was wondering what some of you felt your earliest symptoms have been and if you've been able to deal with them. I'm looking forward to working on a solution for my problems but I will admit I'm scared of having BPD not because there's anything wrong with it but because its a bigger problem than I had anticipated which would explain a lot of my behaviors. How do you guys deal with this and the unsureness you feel in life and relationships? What were some of y'alls symptoms or behaviors? Any help would be much appreciated thank you God Bless!!

[skyxblue]

I haven't had a full diagnosis of BPD. They say I have Bipolar with traits of BPD. To tell the truth I have more BPD symptoms then Bipolar. Some of mine are pushing people away, self harm, being depressed, feeling lonely yet I don't want anyone around, anxiety, unstable relationships (I will cling to the person and then push them away by breaking that relationship), intense change in moods, thoughts that come and go, and there's more. I was first diagnosed with depression before anything else in my early 20's. But I see these symptoms starting way before then.

Therapy and DBT helps me. I have been in DBT before and going to be starting in May again. That's another thing. I have a hard time following through activities. Even ones I want to do. Relationships have been hard for me. But it helps if the other person will understand. Communication and understanding on both is the key I think.

I hope I helped with some of your questions.

[trying2survive]

Originally Posted by ItGoesOn

Hi guys! So I've been going to therapy for awhile because my GP thought I might have some anxiety related problems from all the panic attacks I've been having away at school but since seeing a therapist she believes the anxiety and some depression might be part of a bigger more underlying problem so I have to see a psychiatrist to deal with why she thinks might be BPD. I've always had a sort of emptiness I've felt with life but I thought that stemmed from depression. I'm very impulsive, sometimes in a bad way, with drinking, piercings, shopping, even promiscuous activities. I also occasionally self harm sometimes for stress and sometimes I'm not really sure why, maybe a distraction. These are mostly controllable but I have had some problems with pathological lying in the past and relationships where I tend to pull people in just to push them away once they start to get close to me. I was wondering what some of you felt your earliest symptoms have been and if you've been able to deal with them. I'm looking forward to working on a solution for my problems but I will admit I'm scared of having BPD not because there's anything wrong with it but because its a bigger problem than I had anticipated which would explain a lot of my behaviors. How do you guys deal with this and the unsureness you feel in life and relationships? What were some of y'alls symptoms or behaviors? Any help would be much appreciated thank you God Bless!!

well.you described most of the symptoms, idk about the pathological lying, that might be something else. i just deal with it the best i can( which is not very easy) this forum helps me a whole lot, to know that there are other people that suffer just like i do. my mood swings are something terrible but it's not the end of the world, i think that now that i know what's going on, i try to take steps to control my behavior as best i can..hope this helps!

[ginaaa22]

Originally Posted by trying2survive

well.you described most of the symptoms, idk about the pathological lying, that might be something else. i just deal with it the best i can( which is not very easy) this forum helps me a whole lot, to know that there are other people that suffer just like i do. my mood swings are something terrible but it's not the end of the world, i think that now that i know what's going on, i try to take steps to control my behavior as best i can..hope this helps!

there has been threads on here about BPD sufferers who pathologically lie. It might not be in the dsm as a trait but it seems lots of people do this..

[trying2survive]

Originally Posted by ginaaa22

there has been threads on here about BPD sufferers who pathologically lie. It might not be in the dsm as a trait but it seems lots of people do this..

hmmm..i didn't know that, thanks for the info, i guess everyone's a lil different huh? i was under the impression that was a myth told about us.

[ginaaa22]

There was a thread not that long ago and alot of people commented.

Sent from my SCH-I535 using Tapatalk

[trying2survive]

Originally Posted by ginaaa22

There was a thread not that long ago and alot of people commented.

Sent from my SCH-I535 using Tapatalk

oh, i must have missed it! must have been before my time, this is only like my 2nd week here ( i think!)

[HD7970GHZ]

Hey ItGoesOn,

To answer your question from my perspective:

As tempting as it is, (and we all know how tempting it is); try not to delve so much into the Borderline Personality Disorder Diagnosis. You are clearly familiar with the things on the list - and they WILL NOT change. (Unless the Diagnostics and Statistical Manual gets a BIG revision)

What WILL change - is your attitude towards the diagnosis; if and when it fits. As a side note, it is important to remember that at this stage in your therapy, (from what you said) your therapist has concerns that there might be a bigger underlying problem (Borderline Personality Disorder) aside from your initial depression.

At this point you're going to a psychiatrist in order to be screened and diagnosed. Just remember that mistakes are made where diagnosis is concerned. It happens, it's part of the business. Keep an open mind and get a second opinion if you must. It is worth it.

The important thing to do is only lightly familiarize yourself with the list of diagnostic criteria - and truly question yourself as to whether you relate to it. But even more-so - whether or not you relate to the feelings and thoughts and emotions that pertain to the diagnosis. In the DSM it is just a list, but this forum here is a good place to listen about how people with the illness think, feel and behave. It is definitely in-line with the diagnostic criteria, but unlike the forums, the criteria list doesn't give justice or a clear understanding to the actual illness. So please, ask away - read a lot on here - but try not to obsess over the diagnostic criteria - as it can actually be more harmful than helpful.

For example:
(This being from personal experience: There are ALOT of people who are told they have such and such illness, they will then read and research all there is to know about the illness - and when it comes time to see a psychiatrist and be given a diagnosis - they actually become more like the diagnosis than they were before, therefore, they often do not get the correct diagnosis and they contradict the very reason for seeking treatment...)

In my opinion: *(PRIOR to being diagnosed)* you want to know the least amount about Borderline Personality Disorder criteria as you can, that way you will not act out in favor of one illness over another, whether consciously or unconsciously. It happens to everyone, it is quite literally unavoidable. In getting the proper diagnosis - it will lead to the correct method of treatment and therapy in your pursuit of happiness, hence:

"The point of therapy: Is to get out of therapy."

Anyways, you're on the right track. I'm only sharing with you what I wished I would have heard early on in my years of therapy.

Thanks,
HD7970ghz