[isntlifewonderful]

My anxiety's been really high for 7 hours straight now, now it's switching to emptiness and dissociation - which feels a bit better as it's easier to control (though it's scary and well... lonely).
As usual, my overwhelming fear of abandonment, craving for love, guilt and self-hatred had the upper hand.
Idk if some of you've read this in my previous posts but when I'm in this state I tend to threaten the ones I love with commiting suicide or doing heavy drugs if they leave me. All because I want them to feel with me and beg me not to leave because they love me. I need validation. Someone who lets me know they need me. I felt a huge urge to do this today aswell. But I didn't. And I didn't even selfharm or anything to compensate. I had a panic attack, lots of anxiety and at one point I could hardly resist the impulses of hanging myself... but I DIDN'T do anything. For some reason I feel sorta guilty about handling this so well, but I'm also pretty proud of myself.
I just had to tell someone.
Hopefully I'll be able to get some sleep now. Family therapy tomorrow... I tend to start fights and drama during those so wish me good luck haha!

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[trying2survive]

glad the anxiety is coming down, it can really be rough..but you made it through & that's awesome, sounds like you're getting things under control..awesome, hang in there!

[isntlifewonderful]

Originally Posted by trying2survive

glad the anxiety is coming down, it can really be rough..but you made it through & that's awesome, sounds like you're getting things under control..awesome, hang in there!

The anxiety's been eating me alive since I was a little kid. I hate it. So much. Yes! I'm actually so reliefed. Woke up today, pretty empty and with some minor anxiety, and even though the empty episodes are the ones I, for my own sake hate the most, I know I wont hurt anyone else. I'm just REALLY hoping it will last through the family therapy session aswell. It probably wont though, because of my moodswings, but a girl can hope, right?
Thankyou!!!

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[trying2survive]

Originally Posted by isntlifewonderful

The anxiety's been eating me alive since I was a little kid. I hate it. So much. Yes! I'm actually so reliefed. Woke up today, pretty empty and with some minor anxiety, and even though the empty episodes are the ones I, for my own sake hate the most, I know I wont hurt anyone else. I'm just REALLY hoping it will last through the family therapy session aswell. It probably wont though, because of my moodswings, but a girl can hope, right?
Thankyou!!!

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absolutely! the anxiety makes it hard to do anything, you just keep thinking the worst, yesterday it was trying to kick in pretty bad so i had a drink and that helped, i want to cut down a little at least but the anxiety at times won't let me! my moods were back and forth all day long yesterday, today is ok so far