[NeverBeenLoved]

I've lost a bunch of people that I considered to be good caring friends recently, since I have made the decision to stop attending my church. It is like people have disappeared into thin air or I get the cold shoulder now. I just don't buy their crap anymore and don't feel that should have to live up to anyone's standards but my own. But it sucks, it hurts because they were supposed to friends, but I guess the friendship didn't stretch beyond the church walls. Well, I am sorry that isn't the Jesus I know, I know He loves me whether I go to church or not and always will.

[SkyWhite]

I'm sorry to hear you had to break ties with some people. I believe that is part of the healing process for people with mental health issues. I recently had to cut loose a "friend" of 20 years because I kept on forgiving her and she kept on hurting me. I also have limited my exposure to my older sister for the same reason.

You've opened the door to allow better friends into your life and you know that Jesus is definitely going to accept and love you for your whole life no matter what.

[Aventurine]

Originally Posted by NeverBeenLoved

I've lost a bunch of people that I considered to be good caring friends recently, since I have made the decision to stop attending my church. It is like people have disappeared into thin air or I get the cold shoulder now. I just don't buy their crap anymore and don't feel that should have to live up to anyone's standards but my own. But it sucks, it hurts because they were supposed to friends, but I guess the friendship didn't stretch beyond the church walls. Well, I am sorry that isn't the Jesus I know, I know He loves me whether I go to church or not and always will.

Not that I feel like I am helping the situation here, but sometimes it helps to know someone understands....

14 years ago I left a church I had been in since I was 9 years old. I was quite involved socially and musically. One morning when I was 23 I hosted a bible study at my apartment for the young mums with babies. (I had a 3 year old at the time) I had known these girls since I was a child. When they left my home I cried and cried.

I tried to tell them what was going on in my life and I was alone and sad and not one of them called me or visited me. I prayed desperately to God to send someone or I might fall away. No one came. I stopped going to church and still, nothing. I found I was more accepted by my "secular" friends and went and joined them instead.

11 years later I tried to contact two of my good "church friends" for a catch up coffee. They said they would love to but are really busy at the moment. I said that's fine, just let me know when. They never contacted me back. That was 3 years ago.

Im sorry, I know this doesn't help. But I simply don't understand it either. It hurts and just doesn't make sense to me.

[UnderTheRose]

Some people don't know how to relate to those outside their social group. They are familair only with interaction within that confinement. Can happen with groups other than Church as well.
For me, I left facebook -- and Ive not heard from any of my 'friends' cept maybe one or two who live local anyhow, in the 6+ months since I've been gone.
It's like i dropped off the face of the earth - even tho i call and email.

[Fuzzybear]

[SkyWhite]

[QUOTE=Aventurine;3737215]I tried to tell them what was going on in my life and I was alone and sad and not one of them called me or visited me. I prayed desperately to God to send someone or I might fall away. No one came. I stopped going to church and still, nothing. I found I was more accepted by my "secular" friends and went and joined them instead.QUOTE]

This is so unfortunate, but quite common. I've learned that just because someone calls themselves a Christian, it doesn't mean they'll act like one. I've found in the past that some "church people" can be the most insensitive and judgmental people of all. I too have found more acceptance from "secular" friends (from all faiths). It appears God answered your prayer, but just not in the way you hoped. BTW-God doesn't care if you go to church or not; It's what's in your heart that counts.

[Tulip611]

I have recently experienced a loss of friends, and it's something that has been plaguing me a lot recently. I feel like much of it has to do with the fact that I have a tendency to be drawn to toxic people. I guess it is the nature of this disorder. And this attraction to toxic people on top of my tendency to withdraw when I am feeling overwhelmed pushes people away. I also work a full time job that is pretty demanding and many of the people who I surround myself with have more free time on their hands, causing the gap to grow even further.