[hahahahah]

I don't know if this is related to BPD but I have a history of stealing. When I was in high school I did it all the time at the mall. I loved it because I never got caught. I never stole anything I really needed, mostly makeup. Then when I was 18 I got caught, arrested, went to court, did my community service blah blah. About ten years later I finally got my record expunged. I've stolen here and there since then, but not like I used to.

Then yesterday, I'm not sure why but i stole $20 from my work. I took it out of the drawer of a manager who had counted out for the day. I'm not going to get caught, there's no way they'll think I did it or catch me, I was the only one in the room and the lock box was open. Part of it was because I knew I could get away with it I figured, if that's the case then maybe I should. I put my 2 weeks in last Friday so I won't be working there much longer. I know that manager isn't going to get in trouble for having a short drawer and that $20 will just be seen as some kind of counting error or change making error. If someone had done that to me though I would have gotten into trouble.

Today I suddenly felt really guilty about it. Unsure why at nearly 30 I'm resorting to teenage behavior, even though as a teen I never stole money, only merchandise. I feel like it's immature and just not cool. I know that if anyone told me they did what I did I would think they were an asshole. But I somehow feel like I deserve that money in some sense? Like that job sucks and should be paying me more anyway and hey they left me in a room with an open lock box of money. I dunno. I have taken money from past roommates as well. One because he kept breaking my things and not replacing them and another one I think but I don't remember for sure because it was years ago.

I dunno, is this a BPD thing? Or like separate kleptomania type thing? Or just me being a ****** person?

[trying2survive]

Originally Posted by hahahahah

I don't know if this is related to BPD but I have a history of stealing. When I was in high school I did it all the time at the mall. I loved it because I never got caught. I never stole anything I really needed, mostly makeup. Then when I was 18 I got caught, arrested, went to court, did my community service blah blah. About ten years later I finally got my record expunged. I've stolen here and there since then, but not like I used to.

Then yesterday, I'm not sure why but i stole $20 from my work. I took it out of the drawer of a manager who had counted out for the day. I'm not going to get caught, there's no way they'll think I did it or catch me, I was the only one in the room and the lock box was open. Part of it was because I knew I could get away with it I figured, if that's the case then maybe I should. I put my 2 weeks in last Friday so I won't be working there much longer. I know that manager isn't going to get in trouble for having a short drawer and that $20 will just be seen as some kind of counting error or change making error. If someone had done that to me though I would have gotten into trouble.

Today I suddenly felt really guilty about it. Unsure why at nearly 30 I'm resorting to teenage behavior, even though as a teen I never stole money, only merchandise. I feel like it's immature and just not cool. I know that if anyone told me they did what I did I would think they were an asshole. But I somehow feel like I deserve that money in some sense? Like that job sucks and should be paying me more anyway and hey they left me in a room with an open lock box of money. I dunno. I have taken money from past roommates as well. One because he kept breaking my things and not replacing them and another one I think but I don't remember for sure because it was years ago.

I dunno, is this a BPD thing? Or like separate kleptomania type thing? Or just me being a ****** person?

i am not a professional ( my disclaimer LOL!) but i think it could be kleptomania, or i sense a tone of a lil lack of remorse..maybe a lil touch of ASPD "maybe" , they may put two and two together and figure you were in there AND the lock box was OPEN and you put in your 2 wks...just a thought.

better hope that mgr doesn't have any mental issues and frequents PC
or you're gonna have a lot of explaining to do! LOL!

im not going to berate you for stealing..i'm sure you know right from wrong so it's not my place...i just probably wouldn't openly brag about it.

they probably should not have left you in there with the lock box open, but hey..life doesn't discriminate..it teaches everyone lessons..even mgrs.

do try to stay out of trouble..eventually everyone gets caught, and it would suck if somehow they figured out a way to withhold your last check...just a thought

hope this helps

[hahahahah]

I've never done this before and I do feel really guilty and also just stupid. And yeah I hope they aren't on this board. Now I'm getting paranoid. Damn it. It's definitely not something I would brag about, though, and I don't think that they would suspect this kind of behavior from me, not to mention they wouldn't have any way to prove I did it, versus the manager whose box it was making an error. I just don't know why I did this, but there's no way to go back in time or to fix it. I definitely wouldn't go in and tell them I did it. I think I just need to ride out the rest of my shifts there and keep my fingers crossed that no one will suspect me of doing this. I guess I've just got to teach myself not to give into urges like this, because as rare as they are, they do happen.

I don't think it's a BPD thing. Not as far as I know and not something I've experienced.

Perhaps kleptomania perhaps a sign of something else. Most of us with PD's have some over lap with other disorders.

Definitely speak to your T or someone though. This could lead to a lot of trouble down the line.

irrational, impulsive behavior CAN be a trait of BPD.

But I am just some moron typing this... not a licensed shrink

[waiting4]

Originally Posted by Useless Me

irrational, impulsive behavior CAN be a trait of BPD.

But I am just some moron typing this... not a licensed shrink

You're NOT a moron, and I agree, irrational, impulsive behaviour definately is part of BPD.

[waiting4]

Originally Posted by hahahahah

I've never done this before and I do feel really guilty and also just stupid. And yeah I hope they aren't on this board. Now I'm getting paranoid. Damn it. It's definitely not something I would brag about, though, and I don't think that they would suspect this kind of behavior from me, not to mention they wouldn't have any way to prove I did it, versus the manager whose box it was making an error. I just don't know why I did this, but there's no way to go back in time or to fix it. I definitely wouldn't go in and tell them I did it. I think I just need to ride out the rest of my shifts there and keep my fingers crossed that no one will suspect me of doing this. I guess I've just got to teach myself not to give into urges like this, because as rare as they are, they do happen.

I don't want to add to the fire, and I know you're feeling guilty and paranoid...but having been a manager of several businesses handling thousands of dollars a day (including 2 convenient stores) and I just want to assure you....money DOESN'T just disappear. Not in this day and age with computers, and much more accurate book keeping being standard in nearly every business (those that are successful). The 20 bucks will be found missing...and someone WILL be blamed, whether it is accepted as 'lost', misspent...or stolen.

I know this won't calm you, but really....don't labor under the illusion that money is accepted to have just disappeared because it is 'only' $20.

Just sayin.

Originally Posted by waiting4

You're NOT a moron....

That just means that you do not know me well enough yet.

:/

I always used to nick stuff from shops, was good at it too.

I don't anymore and don't feel it is a good thing to do.

I don't know if it is a BPD thing, but doing risky stuff is so there is probably some connection.

It is good that you feel guilty (as it is wrong) but as long as you are aware and learnt from it, I don't think it is the crime of the century just be careful xxxx

[trying2survive]

Originally Posted by hahahahah

I've never done this before and I do feel really guilty and also just stupid. And yeah I hope they aren't on this board. Now I'm getting paranoid. Damn it. It's definitely not something I would brag about, though, and I don't think that they would suspect this kind of behavior from me, not to mention they wouldn't have any way to prove I did it, versus the manager whose box it was making an error. I just don't know why I did this, but there's no way to go back in time or to fix it. I definitely wouldn't go in and tell them I did it. I think I just need to ride out the rest of my shifts there and keep my fingers crossed that no one will suspect me of doing this. I guess I've just got to teach myself not to give into urges like this, because as rare as they are, they do happen.

well i'm glad you realize the danger you put yourself in, i couldn't help but notice you changed your avatar i STG i never laughed so hard in my life i got a good chuckle out of that..thank you for that!, i have been giggling all day! but that was smart..guess the paranoia got the best of ya...well i guess you can never be too safe...try to behave yourself, a lot of these places do have cameras these days, so lay low and MAYBE..just MAYBE..you'll luck out!

and oh....DON'T STEAL ANYTHING ELSE FROM ANYONE,OK? hopefully you escape with a close call only good luck!

[ifst5]

I would say it can and does fall under the reckless behaviour/impulsivity traits those with BPD have. You would however need a professional if you're struggling to regain control over this matter.