Having a melt down...awful....

and he says, "calm down and relax'. ..... really? Really?

Better if he had said "I see where you are, been there myself ... but I am with you ... calm down and relax" but us support people don't always get it right.

Thank you.....so much. He has BPD too...more severe than I do and he gets so pissed if I'm not there for his melt downs...for mine....I guess I need to 'buck up and deal......that hurts so much.

I always want to be told everything will be ok, even if its not going to be ok... and if I don't get that I try to tell myself:
This is just one moment - day, week, month, - out of many; it will pass and I will move beyond it, and I won't need to look back because I will have things to look forward to.


edit - and yes it surely does suck when our support people screw it up. XD But I am the poor support person in my relationship so I can't talk.

((((waiting4)))))

It sounds like a sucky situation.

Personally, I have a big beef with those who minimize my experiences while theirs are SO intense. In reality, all of our experiences are intensely miserable. We don't know any other way. While sometimes our experience isn't as bad as the one last week (or this morning, etc), some times really do stink and we should have the right to express our frustration about it. Just because someone else has it worse, doesn't mean that everything happening in our lives is wonderful, does it?? Of course not! We deserve to be acknowledged.

Acknowledgement is what helps me accept and move on past a crummy experience. We can get past things, when we aren't receiving acknowledgement though. It just takes a little longer and more willpower. You have our support. Sorry that you're having a tough time. Gentle hugs to you ~ take care!

Yeah....and when they say they care, it just scrapes across the wound again....thank you for understanding. The one person I thought would, for sure...evidently doesn't.

My fault for trusting the latitude of BPD.

I will try to be an optimist about this and say he was probably TRYING to be helpful. But I hear you.... he may as well said:
Calm down, relax, and win the powerball lottery

As if it is easy.... :/

I know its the hardest words to hear sometimes... calm down, chill, relax, stress less... etc..

but from his POV he is probably just trying to tell you what he tells himself....

Yuck, I hate it when people tell me that!!!!! Doesn't help in the least.

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