[Snowhite77]

Hi, this is the first time I post something, because right now I am so very depressed and find no one to talk to and I can't stand it. As a typical borderline I get really really happy when I feel I am in a possible relationship, I live in Mexico, am 37 and separated from my ex and father of 2 girls 3 years ago and since then had dated no one until 7 months ago when I started an online relationship with a guy in Belgium...
2 weeks ago I went to Belgium to visit him... of course I was the one who made the effort to go... the experience was disappointing, because half way thru he got really sick and I ended up traveling by myself .. a REALLY different scenario from what I had imagined... apart from that, I couldn't hide from myself that it seems very difficult to develop a real and good relationship with him, there are several things, important things on which we think very differently.. anyway..
I was desperate and depressed but then... on the plane back to Mexico I happened to meet 2 English men traveling on business here, and to make the story short, I ended up taking them out while in Puebla (which is where I live) one day and then ... I was completely convinced one of them to be "the one"... We then wrote emails everyday and I was super high and happy but today he told me he needs to get his personal issues in order before considering anything else.. needless to say I feel like I'm dying here, I hate this so much...!
Anyway I am thankful for being able to express this here.. I just want this day to end!

[glok]

Hello, Snowhite77. I wish you well.

[spacegeek1]

Being open and vulnerable sucks.sounds like you had a really confusing time.
Hope your next day was better snowhite.

[manxcatwoman]

Hi, Snowhite 77. I have a borderline personality disorder too. Being in intimate relationships have always been extremely difficult for me too. Sometimes we feel a if we're the ones who get it wrong but the fact is that sometimes it's the other person.

You deserve a lot so don't feel like there's not much hope. Just try and concentrate on yourself right now. It may be lonely but think of it this way. You have your freedom. I wish I had mine. I would do just about anything to NOT be in a relationship. So take care of yourself and learn more about what you want in life, not just in a personal relationship.

Sometimes when you least expect it, a great person comes into our lives. I'm glad you posted. I'm sure others will be able to identify with you too.

[June155]

Funny I just wrote about the same thing, so I have no idea how to help you.
But know you're not the only one. Hugs! xx

sounds like you went WAY out of your way (literally and figuratively) to try and build a real relationship and he jerked you around.

I am sorry for your pain. I wish you lots and lots of happiness in your near future!!

Gods blessings to you (and June too).

[Joyplease]

I am sorry for your pain and loss.
I have BPD too, and my fiance has recently left me for all of the borderline behaviour I displayed.
You are not alone.
I wish you peace of mind, as I wish the same for myself