[CopperStar]

My mother is like a PD cluster**** with symptoms of NPD, BPD and AsPD all rolled into one. She is into her 50s now and only seems to be getting worse. And the worse she gets, the more my own BPD symptoms flare up because I currently live with her. I'm working my way towards independence after a period of homelessness, but it's a painfully slow process.

Normally though I can handle it. I'm used to it. There's always been the established roles, and I've been rolling with them for years. I'm the scapegoat, and my brother is the golden child. And my brother and I are very close.

My biological father and I were never, ever going to resolve anything, though, because he targeted my brother. And to me, that is unforgivable. I almost killed my father over it years ago. I haven't spoken to him in years, as well. He is dead to me, and I could care less if he literally drops dead tomorrow.

Well recently my mother got a big promotion, is traveling a lot and making tons of money. Her head has swollen to the size of a blimp, and her sadistic meddling streak has activated along with it. Suddenly she is better than everyone else, everyone else is a stupid loser, and it's her job to teach all the stupid peons lessons. And apparently this now includes my brother.

She's been going after him, trying to manipulate and shame him and trying to get him to break off his engagement to the love of his life. He confided in me, and we had a cathartic chat about it. I kept trying to assure him that our mother isn't right in the head and to just ignore her. She said some insane **** to him, just so arrogant and judgemental and over the top. She's making her move now because he works at the same company, and she is now in a position of great power, so she thinks she can go after him now. She only does this **** to him at work, and then reminds him that she's more powerful than he is.

I have faith in my brother. He's smart, level-headed, knows what he wants. But seeing and hearing him in distress like that just makes me want to tear her face off. My brother is off-limits. She can be however she wants to me, or to anyone else, and I can keep my jets fairly cool. But if she keeps trying to mess up his life and do power plays like that against him, I swear to ****. She thinks she's so crafty, calls herself the "master" when it comes to manipulating people. She thinks she has everyone on strings and that her golden child would never have the guts to tell anyone how she's behaving. She's such an arrogant idiot.

She was also bragging to him about how she makes so much money (she and her husband's incomes combined are over a quarter of a million dollars per year). He took HER out to dinner, and she say there bragging to him about how rich she is, and making passive-aggressive digs at his fiance. And when my brother tried to ask for help with his last semester of college (he's been paying for all of it himself), like $1,500 which is a drop in the bucket to her, she looked him point-blank in the eye and said she wasn't sure if she could afford it. (Btw, my brother's fiance's mother has been helping him over the past few years, while our mother has done all of jack **** to help him.)

She just likes to **** with people. And now she's ****ing with my brother. She gets a promotion and thinks she's a god. Thinks she controls everyone and that she can play with people like everyone is her barbie doll.

Not even my ****ing Zyprexa can stop the shitstorm that will explode in my head if she ruins his wedding.

[IzzyMarie]

I'm awfully sorry you have to deal with all that and watch someone you love deal with it too. My mom can be the same way I totally sympathize with you (I enraged from just reading the post -- trigger warnings ). If you need someone to talk to you can hit me up.

[CopperStar]

Originally Posted by IzzyMarie

I'm awfully sorry you have to deal with all that and watch someone you love deal with it too. My mom can be the same way I totally sympathize with you (I enraged from just reading the post -- trigger warnings ). If you need someone to talk to you can hit me up.

Thanks. I'm just so blown away by how arrogant and stupid she is. She knows how it was when my father went after my brother, but she thinks she is above that. She thinks everyone is scared and needy and that she can treat people however she wants because of how 'powerful' she is. If she does anything to ruin his wedding she's gonna get knocked the **** down.

[IzzyMarie]

Originally Posted by CopperStar

Thanks. I'm just so blown away by how arrogant and stupid she is. She knows how it was when my father went after my brother, but she thinks she is above that. She thinks everyone is scared and needy and that she can treat people however she wants because of how 'powerful' she is. If she does anything to ruin his wedding she's gonna get knocked the **** down.

Take what I say with a grain of salt, because I constantly want to punch my mom in the face... I know it's hard to see when we deal with our anger. She's only making herself look bad. If you blow up on her at his wedding not only is his wedding ruined, but you look bad. Let her make herself look bad and be there to support your brother.

[CopperStar]

Originally Posted by IzzyMarie

Take what I say with a grain of salt, because I constantly want to punch my mom in the face... I know it's hard to see when we deal with our anger. She's only making herself look bad. If you blow up on her at his wedding not only is his wedding ruined, but you look bad. Let her make herself look bad and be there to support your brother.

I understand. That is just the biggest trigger in my entire life and mind, is anyone messing with my brother. And she knows it, too. She's not above hurting person A to try to hurt person B. She's just such a sack of ****. When my first boyfriend committed suicide, she was smirking about it and being very cocky describing how his friends came by the house to see me. She revels in others' suffering. I'm just very riled up and conflicted. She's never been exposed for what she is. She has more faces than she has hairs on her head. And after all these years, my brother is finally starting to see her for what she really is. So it's validating but horrible at the same time. I'd rather not have validation than get it like this. This is also a new development. She never goes after my brother, she's never stooped this low before. She's either getting desperate or bolder, or both. Based on my experiences, I've always known she doesn't like either of us dating someone. We are 'hers', her property, and she doesn't like sharing. But I never thought she would treat him this way, so bold and shamelessly. I just feel that part of me baring its teeth.

[IzzyMarie]

Originally Posted by CopperStar

I understand. That is just the biggest trigger in my entire life and mind, is anyone messing with my brother. And she knows it, too. She's not above hurting person A to try to hurt person B. She's just such a sack of ****. When my first boyfriend committed suicide, she was smirking about it and being very cocky describing how his friends came by the house to see me. She revels in others' suffering. I'm just very riled up and conflicted. She's never been exposed for what she is. She has more faces than she has hairs on her head. And after all these years, my brother is finally starting to see her for what she really is. So it's validating but horrible at the same time. I'd rather not have validation than get it like this. This is also a new development. She never goes after my brother, she's never stooped this low before. She's either getting desperate or bolder, or both. Based on my experiences, I've always known she doesn't like either of us dating someone. We are 'hers', her property, and she doesn't like sharing. But I never thought she would treat him this way, so bold and shamelessly. I just feel that part of me baring its teeth.

My mom is so much like yours. I bet if they both met in person time would stand still and the world would implode... In all seriousness though it's difficult to deal with people who don't want to admit they're part of the problem and when we see them trying to hurt someone we love they're going to feel our wrath. I'm glad you have an understanding brother to help you through these times -- it definitely helps.

[SillyKitty]

Ugh. My mother is the same way. She's playing chess and we are all her little pieces. She'll say," Your sister said this, but I don't want to be in the middle of it." Then why, for the love of all that's holy, did you ****ing tell me?!?!?! -deep breaths-

I am glad you and your brother are so close. My siblings and I aren't, and I think that makes it harder. Esp since they are the golden ones and I am not. Getting pregnant at 15 doesn't warm the heart. You and your brother stay close! United we stand, and all that.

[CopperStar]

Originally Posted by SillyKitty

Ugh. My mother is the same way. She's playing chess and we are all her little pieces. She'll say," Your sister said this, but I don't want to be in the middle of it." Then why, for the love of all that's holy, did you ****ing tell me?!?!?! -deep breaths-

I am glad you and your brother are so close. My siblings and I aren't, and I think that makes it harder. Esp since they are the golden ones and I am not. Getting pregnant at 15 doesn't warm the heart. You and your brother stay close! United we stand, and all that.

My brother and I are close by a combination of luck and a lot of patience on my part, I guess. I tried very hard to never blame him for being the golden child, and to let myself see how he was being damaged, just differently, and then I always tried very hard not to give in to the sibling rivalry my parents would try to incite. Then I was also lucky that my brother turned out to be rather mature and came around eventually in spite of everything. I consider myself very lucky that we are close. Some parents corrupt a golden child so bad that they destroy sibling bonds forever. I'm sorry if that happened to you. It's unforgivable IMO.

[Fuzzybear]

Ugh. I'm so sorry, I have few words but much empathy

[CopperStar]

Feeling a bit better about it today. My brother has really come into his own in adulthood, and it's starting to show. We talked again today. He talked with his fiance about the situation, handled it perfectly, and is being level-headed and self-respectful. He's not a fragile little boy anymore. He has solid boundaries, self-respect and thinks things through and handles things. I'm so proud of him. I'll always be there for him, but it's such a big and wonderful relief to see him going through the process of doing what he needs to do for himself. I feel like I've waited my whole life to see him finally bloom into a self-confident and assertive man. In spite of everything he did not allow himself to turn out like our father, he has remained a good person, and now he is starting to break free from our mother's manipulation. I'm just so proud of him.

[IzzyMarie]

Originally Posted by CopperStar

Feeling a bit better about it today. My brother has really come into his own in adulthood, and it's starting to show. We talked again today. He talked with his fiance about the situation, handled it perfectly, and is being level-headed and self-respectful. He's not a fragile little boy anymore. He has solid boundaries, self-respect and thinks things through and handles things. I'm so proud of him. I'll always be there for him, but it's such a big and wonderful relief to see him going through the process of doing what he needs to do for himself. I feel like I've waited my whole life to see him finally bloom into a self-confident and assertive man. In spite of everything he did not allow himself to turn out like our father, he has remained a good person, and now he is starting to break free from our mother's manipulation. I'm just so proud of him.

I'm so happy to hear this. It was the most positive thing I've read in awhile and it made me feel good. Thanks for sharing.