It never ends, does it?

I'm minding my own business in life, things are going well, and I think "maybe I don't have BPD, maybe I'm mostly normal, I don't need therapy, I don't need medication, I'm wasting all the therapists' and psychiatrists' time" and I even start to get worried that they'll take the diagnosis away from me. And THEN a day like today happens and I wonder how they still let me roam free with the general public.

All I want right now is a nice padded room (do those even exist anymore?), some sedation, and some peace.

Hello, Espresso. Dealing with an illness is an ongoing process. I pray tomorrow is a better day for you.

I wish you well.

((((Espresso)))))

I hear you. For me it's more about doing as much as I can when can, and not beating myself up when I can't even do the dishes anymore. It's hard coping full stop when everything's so changeable so I just go with it now and if anyone has a problem it's exactly that - their problem. Wishing you some calm amidst the chaos

Yes, I know that "it never ends". It is so shattering when we crash after being "cured". There is no cure. We can only try to learn how to cope better with our symptoms. My heart goes out to you. It is so hard. I send you and prayers for healing in just the right spot.

Thanks, everyone. It's amazing how different two days can be. One day I was thinking, "I'm not crazy enough for this diagnosis, I'm fine" and then literally the next day I thought I was probably the most unstable client my therapist has. I hate myself and I hate the way certain people set me off. I hate that my husband assumes every fight we have is my fault because I'm the one with BPD. I hate that he doesn't believe me when I tell him something. My life is a disaster.

Yup I identify here x I havin one of them days today after a few weeks of seemingly being calm !!! ((Espresso)) x xxxxx

It has been a similarly bad day for me, Espresso, whilst I tend to normally cope reasonably well. I hope we'll all have a better day tomorrow!