empty

i just feel so empty
worthless

i have no identity.
who the hell am i?

My understanding is that feelings of emptiness, worthlessness & lack of identity are considered to be characteristics of BPD. I see you have been newly diagnosed with that condition. Presumably these feelings are part of the reason for the diagnosis & part of what you will work on in therapy if you are receiving therapy services. Best wishes...

i get that feeling A LOT..
so far today i have been keeping myself busy so i have a sense of purpose

purpose? what the hell is that, right? ha ha ha.
i have found it comes and goes, last weekend was really bad

but im ok now

WE are not empty;
Nor worthless;
WE have an identity, and you're a REAL PERSON.

I might be feeling great now and in minutes just feel like that, but at least I know where I stand. And I'll hang on to it. No matter what. I'll face this pain with my scarred bare chest open, and so should you. Count on me.

Love,
W.

what do you do to keep yourself busy, if you don't mind my asking.
last weekend was bad for me too

hugs

i love your quote about wet toilet paper...it made me lol

thank you. you're so brave open and honest. i admire you greatly.

Yup, feel like that a lot. Often it comes over me like a flash of lightening right in the middle of doing something that I love and it ruins everything. Sometimes it just sits heavy on my chest like a big cat. I can give no insight. It's like the wind. Blows from out of who knows where and away into who knows where. DBT would have us Accept this feeling. Just accept that this is me or you and go on with your day. It's just that often it destroys everything. Sorry you are feeling this way. I hope you can get help.

hee hee, thanks..it's true though! lol!
i do work on a lot of houses, drywall plumbing,electrical etc.
and i also flip houses and rent them out to people as well

i had to go into business for myself, i would have never made it as an employee.
so i love it..when i screw up i don't have to worry about getting fired again.

if my BPD is acting up really bad..i don't work, it's nice.
other things i do to keep myself busy i have a nice park nearby my home that has a good sized river, i just go down there and watch the birds on the water.

it really helps.

sometimes when my impulsivity gets the best of me, i'll go on a bender..not the most positive thing..but it keeps me busy and takes away the emptyness for a while!

it's hard for me not to do something because the emptyness takes over, so i HAVE to do something, ANYTHING..long as i don't sit and ruminate.

Not proud of your benders, man, and I don't even know you yet, but you struck me as one hell of a GREAT person. People like you make this world better. (needless to say that I'm sending you a friend request )

hee hee, i try. i know i'm not perfect, just one of my many facets of my BPD.
i'm just a guy trying2survive, LOL!

Nobody's perfect...especially ''normal'' people....

hee hee, thanks for that