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#1
Jul 22, 2014, 07:19 PM
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I have been diagnosed with BPD and I am also Bipolar 1. I have argued with my Dr. about the BPD dx and actually she isn't the Dr who dxd me with it. She says however she does see it within my symptoms and actions etc.
My question to ya'll is this: I used to have this friend and I was so close to this girl she was like a sister but since our friendship has essentially ended....I pretty much hate her. I cant bring myself to talk to her with kindness or forgive her or even DARE to want to be her friend ever again. Is this part of being BPD? People get onto me and tell me I need to let it go etc but I just cant. I cant find one single good thing about this girl who was once like a sister. |
 Anonymous100185
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#2
Jul 22, 2014, 07:28 PM
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It's the black and white thinking of Borderline. The black, I hate you, you are worthless, you hurt me you are all bad. The white, I am so in love with you, my heart is on fire for you, I burn with intensity just to show you that I care.
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| Anonymous100185
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#3
Jul 22, 2014, 07:41 PM
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Did she do something to hurt you? If she committed an inexcusable offense, then I think it's normal to hate her. However, she is "innocent" then it could be due to one of your disorders. Where are you with your bipolar? Mania can make you really irritable and irrational. However, it is also a classic BPD thing to idealize someone and then hate them.
Regardless, I think you should forgive her just so you can have some peace.
__________________
I dwell in possibility-Emily Dickinson Check out my blog on equality for those with mental health issues (updated 12/4/15) http://phoenixesrisingtogether.blogspot.com 
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#4
Jul 22, 2014, 07:45 PM
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Without knowing context there's no way to tell. Longterm friendships do end when people get hurt, even friendships as close as you describe. Is your anger out of proportion to what actually happened between you and your friend? The fact that you say you can't find one thing good about her does sound like it's coming someplace other than just hurt. That's usually what's so upsetting about fall outs with loved ones and friends - we like so many things about them but can't get past one thing that happened. So your switch from closest friend to hating her does sound a little more like its part of your illness.
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#5
Jul 22, 2014, 08:54 PM
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She was always getting angry and being dramatic and Id forgive her then I got fed up completely! Any shed make remarks on dumb things on my facebook and sstuff like that and Im tired of her. There was a situation that happened one day I don't want to get back into to or I will just go off...but since then I hate her. I don't want to be a hater because Im a nice person. Shes so fake and mean and has sooooo many people fooled.
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#6
Jul 22, 2014, 10:30 PM
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It sounds like a BPD reaction to me. I am in a similar situation.
__________________
Mags Depression diagnosed March 1996 PTSD diagnosed January 2000 BPD diagnosed September 2013 |
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#7
Jul 22, 2014, 10:31 PM
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This is how I feel as well my feeling of hate doesn't seem exaggerated to me it feels genuine it feels rational at the time when I'm angry or get annoyed. But at the end of the day or a week later I don't give it much thought and we're back to being besties all over again. She sees it as me being a "bi***" I see it as BPD. I tell people close to me so they'd understand that I really don't mean to snap
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#8
Jul 22, 2014, 10:39 PM
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How old are you?
If you are an adolescent OR a person who has not had a best friend before this could be just normal navigating friendship stuff. If you have a pattern of devaluing and completely and totally hating friends you once completely and totally idealised, and you are pretty well grown, and socialised, it could be a borderline trait. Either way, you can grow out of it. |
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#9
Jul 22, 2014, 11:52 PM
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Im 27.....Ive had plenty of best friends.
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#10
Jul 23, 2014, 12:14 AM
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Quote:
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#11
Jul 23, 2014, 12:39 AM
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Yea I try. Im usually very nice and full of love...its mostly her
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#12
Jul 23, 2014, 06:15 AM
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Is this is a pattern, since you say you've had "plenty of best friends"? Not having stable and long lasting close relationships is common with BPD. Especially if you get too close too fast because you might idealize people at first. Either way, if her behavior was consistently hurtful and mean, maybe a break is best. I'd just try not to focus on the hate and instead be more careful when making new friends. It's a good subject to being up in treatment (your patterns of connecting with people).
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#13
Jul 23, 2014, 11:59 AM
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When someone hurts me deeply I tend to cut them out of my life completely. I feel indifference, sadness and anger. Never really hate, but I do develop lots of anxiety around the subject of dealing with the person.
I assume its a pretty borderline way to be. I'm working on it. |
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#14
Jul 23, 2014, 12:34 PM
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Yeah...I have weird relationships. When I become really close to someone I can get obsessed....and I give lots of gifts etc...
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This is an old thread. You probably should not post your reply to it, as the original poster is unlikely to see it.|
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