Oh, my nerves.

I have social phobia, GAD, depression & BPD. Just like most of us.

I know that I'm a nervous wreak when I'm with anyone.
I prefer to be alone and do spend most of my time alone.

One thing I do go to is Mass. I feel safe there and thought that I wasn't nervous.
Well, yesterday our choir director gently pushed my finger out of my mouth and one of our choir members said "Yes! Don't be so . . . ."
She stopped before she said it, but I know what it was. "Nervous".

Now I'm devastated. I thought that I was calm at Mass. I had NO idea that my nervousness was so apparent and that it is ANNOYING. The woman who spoke to me is a very gentle creature and I know that it just came out. She didn't mean to hurt me.

But now I want to run away. I'm more nervous than ever. Now I feel like I disrupt Mass for people because of my mannerisms. I don't want to go anywhere because I don't want people to know just by seeing me that I'm a nervous wreak. This has made me worse than ever. What can I do?

I'm so sorry you had such a bad experience. You were already in a fragile state, I know it hurts. I doubt you disrupt Mass. Most people only worry about them selves and don't notice others. Them member that said what she is probably just more tuned in to peoples feelings.

Please don't let it keep you from Mass. I'm sure you receive a lot of comfort from Mass. Try to remember that most people don't pay attention to others and keep going as if nothing is wrong. Do you have a friend that could go with you?

Thank you so much for caring.

I thought I was alone in this, but people always seem to notice that I look nervous even when I don't think I feel nervous so I can understand. I was just talking with my therapist about my body language and that people always perceive me as being nervous or shy even when I feel my most relaxed. I think that was rude of them to call you out like that but try not to run away because of it. Do you have any friends at Mass?

Sorry that you feel the same way, but it's nice to know I'm not alone. Thanks for caring.