[cryingontheinside]

As well as being neglected and physically and sexually abused as a small child and witnessing an attempted murder in my home as a teenager and being raped as an adult i cant get therapy because i dont work. I dont understand. I have bpd and therapy is the best thing to help with bpd so why wont they give it to me? Im finally on a waiting list but ive been told ill be on that waiting list for a very long time till ill get seen.

[ifst5]

There are several possibilities but really it all falls down to money. BPD is costly to treat because of the kind of therapy and timescales involved. Surely there are contingency plans because what are people supposed to do in emergencies? That's what happens over here with psychotherapy, the moment someone's in greater need they jump to the top of the list. Maybe asking for a less specific therapy right now would be more beneficial? Psychotherapy might be useful. Do you receive any kind of counselling at all? You should at least be getting some kind of support if you're yet able to access the right treatment. Psychodynamic group work is another option, it's not as intensive as psychotherapy but might be enough to keep you engaged and focused on recovery. I hope something works out for you.

[cryingontheinside]

They dont offer me any. I would be greatful for any type. Thanks for your post. I know its about money but im sure if i had the therapy id be able to work again. I was so hard working before when i was less affected and then id be less of a financial burdern but unfortunately they dont see it that way. What kind of therapy is best for bpd? Would i be able to afford it?

[ifst5]

Well, there's schema, MBT, psychotherapy, S.T.E.P.P.S (which i think is only offered in the UK). DBT is considered the gold standard of treatment. Normally i would give you links to finding therapists etc. but i'm in the UK so a lot of the info i have isn't that helpful. All i would encourage you do is take your time, do some research and be careful about signing any contracts if you're not sure. As far as i'm aware group work like psychodynamic based should be cheaper but of course it again comes down to what's on offer in your area and the sort of prices being offered. If you can't access any type of therapy what about real life support groups? These should in the very least help you feel less alone and of course you'll be meeting with lots of people who know what it is you're going through and can share their own advice on coping etc.

Other than that there's workbooks and there's a board here for DBT discussion i think. There's also a weekly DBT chat. I hope ive been helpful, remember, even if there's a very long wait you will eventually get a place - maybe you could enquire about what you're supposed to do if your situation becomes more desperate. I hope others from the US here can advise you further. All the best.

Perhaps ask for CAT - cognitive analytical therapy, i've heard that the symptoms of BPD could be possibly...perhaps...maybe... be conjured by something deep rooted. These session can last for 12 weeks and they can give you additional therapy.

I got this referal through the regular doctor, I THINK you can ask for it, if not suggested to you.

Good Luck

[cryingontheinside]

Thanks both. Im in the uk too. I feel really down. I want to die. If i cant get help i really want to go away. Be gone. Be no more. I dont think i can do that as it would hurt people and i have no right to cause pain to others by not being here. I cant stop crying and i wish it would all end. Im so alone. I wish they would help me but i know they never will. I really wish i was not here.

From my experience - also being a similar state of mind with it all as an added stress- it seems to depend on which doctor you have at that time, for example, a doctor in the last centre would not refer at all, I was honest and truthful. The second one in a different centre gave the referral as if this happen all the time.
That's what i've experienced and is not a rule of thumb or anything to follow by,
but yeah CAT or what ifst suggested good luck okay, take care too and sorry that you are crying a lot, hugs

[Fuzzybear]

Because we live in the UK?

And because they hope if they invalidate us enough we will somehow magically get better or rather shut up and go away.

Sorry.... I've been hurt too much by some of these idiots and I'm sick sick sick of them and their lack of humanity.



I'm so sorry for your pain, I've been there, and still am. It's very sad. All I can suggest is keep letting them know what you need - and deserve - change doctors as many times as you have to until you find a doctor who will listen. You're worth the work. I wish "they" could see the truth of that,

"they" won't let us live

But "they" won't let us die with dignity either.



Sorry if this triggers, it isn't my intention

Originally Posted by cryingontheinside

As well as being neglected and physically and sexually abused as a small child and witnessing an attempted murder in my home as a teenager and being raped as an adult i cant get therapy because i dont work. I dont understand. I have bpd and therapy is the best thing to help with bpd so why wont they give it to me? Im finally on a waiting list but ive been told ill be on that waiting list for a very long time till ill get seen.

[ifst5]

If you're in the UK then i might be able to help you. Firstly, you need to ask your care coordinator or psychiatrist at your CMHT for a referral to the Personality Disorders team - they are the ones who will put your through an assessment to see if this diagnosis can be applied and what sort of treatment may be necessary. The waiting lists aren't too long usually but if DBT can't be given right now there should definitely be something else in place...demand to at least be properly supported right now. If they refuse point blank to do any of this you can kick them into touch with the NICE guidelines which can be found on the MIND website. MIND are great actually, they have a lot of info on types of treatment, accessibility, advocacy and complaints. If your psychiatrist and/or CC aren't doing their jobs you can always put in a complaint to PALS - the patient advice liaison service. There are ways around it it's just that unfortunately, many people over here have to fight for access to care but as long as you're in the know and don't take no for answer you should start getting somewhere. Good luck.

[Fuzzybear]

This, in my opinion, is insane - you were honest and truthful and the doctor refused to refer you.

It's all about money, yes.

Sorry you've been treated like crap too but happy that you found somebody who was competent to refer you and perhaps listen to you without making judgments which say more about them than about you..

Originally Posted by fembot067

From my experience - also being a similar state of mind with it all as an added stress- it seems to depend on which doctor you have at that time, for example, a doctor in the last centre would not refer at all, I was honest and truthful. The second one in a different centre gave the referral as if this happen all the time.
That's what i've experienced and is not a rule of thumb or anything to follow by,
but yeah CAT or what ifst suggested good luck okay, take care too and sorry that you are crying a lot, hugs

[Astriferous]

I am so, so sorry you have to go through this. I've never gone through a situation like this, but I had a friend who was denied treatment after opening up about her abuse. I don't live in the UK, so I don't think I'll be much help.

There are some DBT skills that you can teach yourself at home. Learning about cognitive distortion and mindfulness really helped me when I was in between therapists. Distracting yourself with things that makes you happy works too.

Take care of yourself, okay? You'll get through this.

Originally Posted by cryingontheinside

As well as being neglected and physically and sexually abused as a small child and witnessing an attempted murder in my home as a teenager and being raped as an adult i cant get therapy because i dont work. I dont understand. I have bpd and therapy is the best thing to help with bpd so why wont they give it to me? Im finally on a waiting list but ive been told ill be on that waiting list for a very long time till ill get seen.

I'm so sorry I really feel for you.

Do you have to rely on your state/province to provide therapy ? Have you looked for non-profit (free) MH services ? Are there such services in the UK ?

Originally Posted by Fuzzybear

This, in my opinion, is insane - you were honest and truthful and the doctor refused to refer you.

It's all about money, yes.

Sorry you've been treated like crap too but happy that you found somebody who was competent to refer you and perhaps listen to you without making judgments which say more about them than about you..

Thanks fuzzy for the support, it really is a shambles, I have been waiting and going through this since 14 i'm now 23, the dx's changed nearly every year.

I am happy things are finally taking shape but it has taken a very long time to get this help, luckily I feel able to cope with support now.

[jean17]

Originally Posted by cryingontheinside

As well as being neglected and physically and sexually abused as a small child and witnessing an attempted murder in my home as a teenager and being raped as an adult i cant get therapy because i dont work. I dont understand. I have bpd and therapy is the best thing to help with bpd so why wont they give it to me? Im finally on a waiting list but ive been told ill be on that waiting list for a very long time till ill get seen.

Dearest, my heart goes out to you. Please hold one.