[Kitcatluver]

I will start this off by saying I have not been diagnosed with anything. Nothing at all. I can't because I have never been to someone that could diagnose me with anything and I know I will never truly find out anything until I seek someone out but my mom doesn't like paying for things that she doesn't think is needed.

I'm easily distracted
Easily annoyed
Defensive
Easily upset
Fear of abandonment
Ect.

About once a day I cry and/or really frustrated and angry. My emotions are like a roller coaster. One min I'm happy the next I'm mad the next I'm in my room crying my eyes out and when it's all said and done I have no clue what really happened. I'm quick to come to my defense I constantly feel the need to defend myself. Anytime someone cancels on me I take it personally like they where never really my friend and they don't care about me and its even worse when that happens and I have this almost obsessive need to be their best friend and they are like a god to me or something, I don't know how to explain it without sounding crazy. Finally, I can't keep my focus I feel the need to move around play with my hair pick at my eyebrows and pick at my nails. I've probably been trying to write this for an hour now. There's more but if I continue I'll be writing this all night.
I feel crazy.
I want some opinions.
My friend (who suffers from bipolar) thinks I could be bipolar or have borderline.

Hi, from what you've said here, it definitely sounds like you have mood regulation issues. It could very well be BPD or Bipolar 2 or both (doc says BP2, I say BPD). I have both, and I can relate to all those issues you mentioned.

I'm sorry to hear that your mom is being so unsupportive esp with paying your medical bills. Have you tried explaining it to her in detail ? Are you unable to support yourself ? Do you go to school ?

[Kitcatluver]

I still go to school.
My mom knows that at the end of 7th Grade and the beginning of 8th I was cutting and I told her about my fear of abandonment the other day I even read the symptom off of this website. She knows about sleep issues that I have and she can view my emotional breakdowns. She just chalks everything up to PMS but its everyday. Somedays worse then others. Heck last year I ended up failing two classes and getting a d in my other one because I was tired most days and couldn't bring myself to do the work so my grade dropped significantly. Then when I had moments where all I did was the work it improved just not enough.

I'm 16 so if I could support myself and prove to a court id be better on my own I would but I can't find work. Next year for my senior year I want to go to this performing arts boarding school but its $60,000-65,000 before financial aid I'm trying to raise money on this website called "go fund me" but people can only view it with a link right now.

But the second I can leave I am.

We fight about everything because I don't want to go to college i want to go to this boarding school because I rather be a waitress waiting for a big break in singing or acting than being stuck in a place I hate.

I appreciate you reply thank you.

[Kitcatluver]

Originally Posted by lilodian4ever

Hi, from what you've said here, it definitely sounds like you have mood regulation issues. It could very well be BPD or Bipolar 2 or both (doc says BP2, I say BPD). I have both, and I can relate to all those issues you mentioned.

I'm sorry to hear that your mom is being so unsupportive esp with paying your medical bills. Have you tried explaining it to her in detail ? Are you unable to support yourself ? Do you go to school ?

Also, as far as grade in ap and honors classes I'm an A B student so I shouldn't have failed the classes.