There have been quite a few recent posts in which people have expressed trouble with relationships. I got the impression that people are not giving themselves enough credit. They speak of being held hostage by their partners, and that pisses me off. Sorry, but this is just my impression from reading the posts. I couldn't stay quiet too long.

I have made the same mistake in my past. Rejection after disappointment after rejection after disappointment, I've reached a point, 30 years into my miserable existence, where I've realized that I have x years left to suffer on this Earth, and if I cannot enjoy the company of others (because others will ALWAYS deny me that "pleasure"), I will spend every waking moment trying to improve myself, WITHOUT DEPENDING ON OTHERS FOR ONE DAMN THING. I will push myself to my limits with fitness, I will train others and try to help them feel better about themselves, I will learn new languages, I will make sure I see the Aurora Borealis at least once. I will write down my bucket list and spend every last ounce of energy accomplishing the things that mean something to me.

I will only live (suffer) once (thank God for that). The people around me will mistreat me, BPD or not, Bipolar or not, Irritable Bowel Syndrome or not. I can choose to either give them a loaded gun and hold it against my head, or I can forget about them and control what I can control - ME. This Earth has nons, and it has beautiful places and phenomena. Man made music, man made sport, man made food. There's MUCH more to this world and this life than a bunch of ignorant and sadistic nons holding me hostage.

Let me be eaten by a shark swimming tens of miles in the gorgeous Pacific, or split my head in two climbing a mountain, or starve to salvation lost while backpacking, but I REFUSE to die at the hands of a non. Dying at the hands of a non is the true definition of "suicide".

You might say ... isn't there a middle ground ? I don't see one. If you do, I'm happy for you.

... but that's just me.

yep. the nons will never understand. they have no empathy as they just gas light us with the psychobabble n it hurts xxx

[Astriferous]

This was so empowering to read. You're right. I don't need to be held hostage by my paranoia when it comes to relationships. I don't need anyone but myself.

Thank you for this, really.

Originally Posted by Astriferous

This was so empowering to read. You're right. I don't need to be held hostage by my paranoia when it comes to relationships. I don't need anyone but myself.

Thank you for this, really.

You're welcome ! Glad you found some value in it !

Looks like my opinion wasn't all that popular

Originally Posted by muaythailady88

yep. the nons will never understand. they have no empathy as they just gas light us with the psychobabble n it hurts xxx

Yup, you said it. Say, were you able to get that situation resolved ?

Originally Posted by Astriferous

This was so empowering to read. You're right. I don't need to be held hostage by my paranoia when it comes to relationships. I don't need anyone but myself.

Thank you for this, really.

Also, take the concept of supply n demand. It applies very well to relationships. The more available you are to your partner, the more your supply, and the lower your demand You have to make yourself less available or at least appear less available

Deep down, I know that it is just that simple. Ask any person successful in relationships, and they'll probably tell you that there was a lot of give and take involved ... a dance ... and something I understand very well but will never be able to successfully apply in my own life.

I think we have to learn to not give ourselves fully, right away. Easier said than done !

Right ?

Originally Posted by lilodian4ever

Yup, you said it. Say, were you able to get that situation resolved ?

Yeh x apparently he's offended others so he's pending suspension ? We will see xxx

Originally Posted by lilodian4ever

Yup, you said it. Say, were you able to get that situation resolved ?

xxxx

Yeh I think he's pending suspension for bein horrible to others maybe? X

[Astriferous]

Originally Posted by lilodian4ever

Also, take the concept of supply n demand. It applies very well to relationships. The more available you are to your partner, the more your supply, and the lower your demand You have to make yourself less available or at least appear less available

Deep down, I know that it is just that simple. Ask any person successful in relationships, and they'll probably tell you that there was a lot of give and take involved ... a dance ... and something I understand very well but will never be able to successfully apply in my own life.

I think we have to learn to not give ourselves fully, right away. Easier said than done !

Right ?

Yeah, I can get with that!