[greyclouds]

So my bpd has been pretty manageable after therapy.
And life has been good. I cut all the stresses out my life, working for myself and cut negative friends right off.

I recently meet a new person in my life and we agreed to be just friends after going on a few dates!!
However we are way more then just FRIENDS.
And this is not in my head (it's real)

My friend is also a bpd suffer and has not had therapy.

I find myself uncontrollably jealous. And this is not a emotion that has ever effected me really.. After we had an amazing night last night and I left them this morning. My head and stomach are raging with jealousy.

The thoughts are in my head and I can't get rid of them. It is starting to bring all sorts of emotions up that I don't want to be feeling.

I don't know why I feel like this!!
Even know we agreed to not put a label on our relationship.
My friend plans to move away soon. So I won't see them any more. We both always knew that this was not going to turn into anything long term due to commitment issues.

But last night are conversation although drunk I'm sure they said he loved me.. Or do I want them to tell me they love me!!

So not only now am I feeling immense jealousy I'm freaking out about that. I really really like my friend but I don't want to fall in love with them because I know they are going to leave..

I'm not really looking for any advise, I just needed to write this down where I know I'm not alone.

P.s I'm sorry if it doesn't make much sense. My brain is in overload

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[Astriferous]

I understand completely. Sensing that you're not important or a priority to a person you deeply care about is absolutely heartbreaking, especially if you're borderline.

Thank you for sharing!

[amsquareb]

What I really think about this whole bpd meets bpd thing is that both know that their emotions are unpredictable and they might be loving each other now but wouldn't after some time(and this is not some ******** which happens to every other couple). This thing can happen in the most dramatic way imaginable.
The problem is they will probably not stop loving each other at the same exact time. So, the one who is late gets hurt.
But what I am really curious about is that this thing still works for me in case of my same sex friends! So, why can't it work in case of romantic relationships. I mean really think about it. The only difference is that you just add sex into it. Rest is all the same. I mean I don't see a ****ing damn difference.

[greyclouds]

Well... Hmm

You just add sex? I guess it would be how you look at sex.
How ever I've never had splitting with any of my friends of the same or opposite sex. I only have splitting when romantically involved.

I can fall in and out of love quicker then weather!! The minute I don't think my partner does love me or want me I want them like crazy. As soon as I've got them. Couldn't care less and don't want them

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