[shakespeare47]

This is yet another reason why I won't call myself BPD. or tell many people about BPD traits... How many times have you tried to tell someone about some situation, only to hear them say (or at least suggest) "but, you're BPD... so, obviously you didn't interpret that situation correctly"?

It's maddening.. Is it just me? Or does anyone else see this happening?

I don't have a problem admitting I have some BPD traits... and I talk about them... But, for someone else to make assumptions about what it all means? That is uncalled for. Get your own "F"ing life figured out... Let's talk about your mental health issues.... let's talk about your assumptions... and why you make them.... If we can do all those things.... then we'll talk about what you perceive to be my issues...

My point? Don't let nons bully you. They have their own issues... no matter how badly they may want to convince you otherwise.

[detachedangst]

My H does this occasionally. It drives me crazy and infuriates me when he is right.

[sabby]

I can only imagine how frustrating, hurtful and invalidating it must feel to you when that happens.

Some folks have no clue as to they why's and how's a disorder works. Nor do they have a clue as to how to even just validate another's feelings, disordered or not. Personally, I like to take times like those to educate them a little bit, but that's just me and I don't have BPD, but my youngest daughter does. I've learned a lot from her and we've worked on our relationship and it's gotten better over the past 2 years for which I am very grateful.

At least with my daughter, it all comes down to how we communicate with each other. What triggers certain issues and how can I help to reduce the trigger to help her manage her way through it more comfortably while at the same time being mindful of boundaries. Sometimes it's a dance and one is going in a different direction than the other, but we always seem to be able to come back together to better understanding.

It can take a lot of work on both sides of the equation but to me, it's all worth it. I'm really sorry you are struggling with this issue and I hope that it lessens for you soon!

[shakespeare47]

^Thanks for that... I find my best response when people are invalidating, or making their own ridiculous assumptions is just to look at them calmly and ask "are you sure about that?".

Then let them explain themselves... it works. they either must try to explain their assumptions... or they must keep quiet.

[Astriferous]

My mom did that when I was first diagnosed. She stopped after a while.

I usually don't disclose that I have BPD to others, but when mental health comes up I say depression and anxiety.

[haleylaurel]

my BF does sometimes when i'm being impulsive. i've realized he's just trying to help.

The best part is when they're doing it to cover up their own failures. When your anger is justified and they try to put you down, tell you you're over reacting, you're crazy all so they don't have to accept the blame.

One of my ex's favourite methods.

Originally Posted by BeteNoire

The best part is when they're doing it to cover up their own failures. When your anger is justified and they try to put you down, tell you you're over reacting, you're crazy all so they don't have to accept the blame.

One of my ex's favourite methods.

Haha, yes !!! It gives them a nice way to cover their own butts.

Our diagnoses = Their ammunition

Originally Posted by shakespeare47

This is yet another reason why I won't call myself BPD. or tell many people about BPD traits... How many times have you tried to tell someone about some situation, only to hear them say (or at least suggest) "but, you're BPD... so, obviously you didn't interpret that situation correctly"?

It's maddening.. Is it just me? Or does anyone else see this happening?

I don't have a problem admitting I have some BPD traits... and I talk about them... But, for someone else to make assumptions about what it all means? That is uncalled for. Get your own "F"ing life figured out... Let's talk about your mental health issues.... let's talk about your assumptions... and why you make them.... If we can do all those things.... then we'll talk about what you perceive to be my issues...

My point? Don't let nons bully you. They have their own issues... no matter how badly they may want to convince you otherwise.

Yeah, man. I feel your pain.

The real unfortunate thing is that nons are the majority in this world. So, if, in a room of 100, you're having an argument with a non, chances are ... the other 98 people are going to agree with the non, simply because they have no *****ing clue what BPD is.

That makes it even worse than it already is.
1 - They're making stupid A $ $ umptions.
2 - You feel alienated by the 98 other A $ $ es

[shakespeare47]

Fortunately, there isn't a large group of people who know I have BPD traits.... But, still, we all do things for which we feel embarrassment... and there are people who will try to use those things against you..... despite the fact that they know very well that they have their own issues.....

Don't let them fool you. Don't let them add to the embarrassment. They're not doing you any favors. They're trying to cover up their inadequacies by pointing our yours.

But, please do continue to work on your own issues, as well.

[omdjt]

my husband and dad treat me like that. and I wish they'd just listen to me and not judge it all based on me being "crazy"/