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#1
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I've just been recently diagnosed with BPD and ironically I'm a psychology major.
I've always had a jealously issue, with added overbearing-ness. Up until late, I had that I was insane and super insecure-which I still think so. I have a boyfriend and have been with him for 2 years and have tried to share my feelings of other females in his life. Lately, I've been feeling threatened by a classmate of his who I had a problem with last semester. Now, somehow they ended up in the same class again. I had asked him in the beginning if had any friends in the class, etc. He disregarded to mention that she was there. Right now, I'm tempted to ask him, calmly, if there's anyway he can avoid talking to her. A couple hours ago I was so gung-ho about confronting him, now I'm afraid how he's gonna react and think out of line and insane, though I probably am. Is this a smart move? How can I cope with my ridiculous suspicions and insecurities? |
![]() Anonymous100185, Lemon Curd, shezbut
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#2
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You are a psychology major, surely it may help you deal with these isues. Try and look at it from his perspective, maybe that may help. You are not insane, you just feel emotions so much stronger than most people.
Best wishes
__________________
"The two most important days in your life are the day you were born.... and the day you find out why" ~ Mark Twain |
#3
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Hi Pierro, I have tried to look at it from his view but I have the worst thoughts on it. From his perspective, he didn't tell me about it because there it something going on that I might worry about. How can I deal with this?
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#4
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Definitely not a smart move; he's allowed to have friends and a life outside of you. So what if he's friends with this person? Unfortunately whatever your feelings towards her may be, he might find her delightful company and good friend. It's not our place to deny others that happiness just because of our own experiences.
I would suggest you seek out therapy if you're not already and learn of better ways to cope with what you rightly call your jealousy issues. All the best. |
![]() Anonymous100185, Lemon Curd
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![]() Crazy Hitch, Lemon Curd
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#5
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Quote:
__________________
“They love without measure those whom they will soon hate without reason.” ― Thomas Sydenham |
![]() Lemon Curd
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#6
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Quote:
I remember a month ago exploding all over my husband because of a photo of my husband with a female. That's all I could "see". And hell yeah he got angry. It was a blinking triathlon photo with his triathlon team taken by their trainer and there were other males in the photo too but I couldn't get over the female. Oh please. What was I thinking! As if females aren't allowed to do triathlons ![]() ![]() |
![]() Anonymous100185, Lemon Curd
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#7
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Quote:
__________________
“They love without measure those whom they will soon hate without reason.” ― Thomas Sydenham |
![]() Lemon Curd
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#8
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I usually confront my husband on "suspicions" which is not healthy for him or our relationship because there's always a logical explanation and then I'm left thinking omg what was I thinking! |
![]() danabelle
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#9
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Quote:
While your impulse is to speak up and ask your bf about this other girl, I think that your Wise Mind is speaking up & trying to get you out of that dangerous mindset. If you haven't talked with your bf previously about your tendency to Q his devotion to you, maybe you could very lightly touch upon this subject... to simply explain th "vibes" that he's probably sensing from you. 1.) Explain that your self-esteem is a bit low (in case he hasn't already noticed ![]() 2.) Admit that you sometimes Q your spot on his list of importance and devotion 3.) Apologize for being a pain in the rump & assure him that you are working on overcoming these negative personality tendencies ~ it just takes time. Ca the two of you exchange special hugs or words once a day for extra reassurance? Just some ideas. Very best wishes to you both! ![]()
__________________
"Only in the darkness can you see the stars." - Martin Luther King Jr. "Forgive others not because they deserve forgiveness but because you deserve peace." - Author Unkown |
![]() Anonymous100185
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![]() danabelle
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#10
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thank you guys this thread has helped me tenfold. i feel less of a monster and more human xxx
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![]() danabelle, shezbut
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#11
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Quote:
__________________
“They love without measure those whom they will soon hate without reason.” ― Thomas Sydenham |
![]() shezbut
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#12
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Jealousy and other such feelings are usually caused by lack of self esteem - what is your therapist doing to help you feel more self assured and independent? The only advice anyone can give you here is to continue building a life outside of your partner; take up certain activities, join social groups, perhaps go back to studying for something be it a new career or to help you progress in your current one. If you have enough to feel good about outside of your relationship, it's easier to feel more comfortable within it. |
![]() shezbut
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