Push pull dynamic?

How do you move past the push-pull dynamic in relationships? I seem to go between an extreme idolisation (bordering on being completely obsessed- cant think of anything else kind of thing) to wanting them to of never of existed.

I want them to be someone who they cannot be and when they don't give this to me I get angry and push them away- it constantly repeats itself.

I find I for the most part stay in the idolising part, but the longer I am with the person and the more I get to know them- the more demands I place on them or envisage them being able to do.

I find I play out things in my head, i have this perfect image of who they are and what they will be like that when this doesnt fit into reality I am heartbroken.

I feel like I invest so much more than the other person and I can't understand how they don't seem to get bothered by certain things- i.e send someone a text and they take ages to reply- to me this feels like I don't matter to them, I am nothing, just an annoyance or their going to leave. It makes me feel anger towards them and this need to cut ties with them because they obviously don't care as much.

People are out living their lives and I feel like I am wasting mine. I spent my weekends off with the fairies dreaming of my perfect life and envisaging the perfect interactions with the people I am close with. I want so much to have that group of friends that do things together, but the energy it would take to maintain this seems overwhelming.

How do you connect when your afraid (not to mention crap) at connecting?

i have the same problem and getting tired with myself for feeling that way.