[dancinglady]

I think having BPD is easier for the newbies. The damage gets worked through earlier, better treatment options, less traumatic therapeutic interventions. If you are young take advantage of all that is now out there. For me an old timer it is really too late and I will just wait to die. I have many health problems so the suffering won't be much longer.
All I read is people should be compassionate wow that sounds like everyone won't be my friend or lover they will just pity me.

Originally Posted by dancinglady

I think having BPD is easier for the newbies. The damage gets worked through earlier, better treatment options, less traumatic therapeutic interventions. If you are young take advantage of all that is now out there. For me an old timer it is really too late and I will just wait to die. I have many health problems so the suffering won't be much longer.
All I read is people should be compassionate wow that sounds like everyone won't be my friend or lover they will just pity me.

I know exactly how you feel. I'm in my 40's and never heard of BPD until last year when I was diagnosed and that was only because I lost my parents a couple years ago and couldn't cope and lost it. The younger generation is so damn lucky. We've been suffering with this so much longer and now that we're half way through our lives we're told our behavior is not accepted in society and to change who we are. It's so easy for the mental health professionals to tell us it's possible to change. Let's see the shoe on the other foot, have someone without BPD change the way they think. Let's see how easy it is for them to change the way your brain functions. I don't mean to offend anyone but I hate the mental health professionals as you can't fix something that there is no cure for.

[HD7970GHZ]

Hey dancinglady and sorcerer,

I can empathize with the both of you. That would be frustrating. The truth is - regardless of age - borderline is hard. Its sad that until recently, there were no effective treatments for BPD in particular. Having access to DBT when you were both in your younger days could have surely altered the state of repair that you feel you are in now... Then again, at a young age - you may not have taken treatment seriously anyways. DBT is nice - but it's not the end all be all.

I know that after years of my BPD stuff - I have become increasingly interested in getting better and reaching out to whatever treatments exist. It is never too late. It took several years for me to find the correct diagnosis - and it happens to a lot of people. Truth is - you both have an extraordinary amount of hard-earned insight, experience and knowledge that could benefit in your recovery. Although you may feel like the only thing left to do in life is to die - that doesn't mean you have to die unhappy or without joy in your life. I am nearing 30 years old, have had years of therapy - both in CBT and in other areas and I also feel like all there is left to do is die... We share this problem. Its sad. Its very scary. Despite our age, or our treatments - we can feel the same.

You may not have had access to DBT when you were younger - but you do now!!! If you haven't tried it yet - go for it!

Thanks,
Hd7970ghz

[Crazy Hitch]

I'm a "newbie" diagnosed at age 36 .... A lot of destruction has already been caused.

Would have been useful if I was diagnosed a lot earlier.

Be well.

WI was informally diagnosed when I was 16, shortly after I had my first nervous breakdown.

Know where being diagnosed young got me?

Dropped out of high school and am now working a dead end job I hate and considering the merits of getting myself committed just for the holiday.

Personally I would have appreciated the chance to establish myself before becoming a complete nervous wreck.

Although I have noticed those diagnosed later in life do seem to take it a little harder. Even though they may be in a excellent job with a loving family for some reason once they are diagnosed nothing else seems to matter. (Which I think may be in part because we don't come to the attention of MH professionals until in crisis.)

I don't think it's age that matters (although perhaps it is easier if one is less set in their ways) but access to resources. (And lets face it, most 20 somethings do not have the earning power or savings to afford such resources.)

[ifst5]

I got diagnosed in early adulthood (18) which is one of the worst times in my view...you're old enough to be past all the difficulties of childhood only to be confronted with a newer, longer problem. I felt like i didn't get a break - being a kid was miserable and being an adult is even harder. Such is life i guess.

[winter4me]

There is less stigmatization of the diagnosis now---and I can remember way back when---and fewer knee jerk hospitalizations, less blaming the victim,
As a nurse, I can remember having many BPD patients who were hospitalized when it was probably the worst thing that could happen to them because someone else took over the "responsibility" for controlling behaviors (without talking much usually, without insight...)
and refused to take any "risks" that might allow the person to access their own strengths...there was also an assumption that you were pretty much "done for" as far as life achieving activities...unless you "got over it", "grew up"...."acted better"....
I have been very glad to see this changing. It doesn't make it less painful in the moment but it makes for hope and a bigger picture of what is really happening...

[shezbut]

(((dancinglady)))

I can understand what you're saying. I'm far from being a spring chicken myself, and I have been fighting mental illness for all of my life. I was hospitalized as a teenager (30 years ago), and treatment was a lot different back then. I've definitely seen some scary stuff!

That said, I wasn't diagnosed with BPD until 4 years ago...I think? Instead, it was everything else. Major depression, Panic Disorder, PTSD, Victim of Sexual Abuse, Dissociative Disorder NOS. I also finally got diagnosed with Epilepsy, just before 26 y.o. and doctors overlooked a few of my emotional disorders for 15 years, assuming that all of my problems stemmed from my E!! It has been very difficult to be fighting my physical and emotional past ~ my ex-hub and my parents simply believe that I am wrong. I misinterpreted this or that; I wasn't ever really a victim, I'm imagining things; and so on. It drives me bananas!!

Anyway, the gist is: regardless of when we are diagnosed, and treatment begins, stupid stuff happens. It's all so complicated for us, due to varying reasons of our BPD. Most of us aren't struggling with just BPD either, but we also fight other mental and physical illnesses. It just sucks...whether we're young or old timers. That is my opinion.

Gentle hugs sent your way.

Not at all.
Am
New diagnosed this year but I've had it ten years. Treatment over here in uk ain't great. Yes I have CAT therpay but that's it. Nothin more. No meds to calm my anxiety. Nothing.

[Fuzzybear]