[Achy Turtle Armor]

I was wondering if it is normal or common for those with BPD to have a poor visual memory. What I mean by that is can you recall what family members look like or are you just remembering a photo? What about friends? Could you describe your friend to me? How about your T?

The last question is the reason for my post actually. I can't recall what my T looks like. I could describe his shoes but not his face. I can imagine how he walks and stands but I can't tell you what his face looks like.

So to answer my own question... I can recall someone I see often. Then it gets worse the less I see you. It also bothers me that I cannot recall what my dead mother looks like. I can describe a photo of her but not what I remember of her face. I can recall her hands.

[Jordy]

I don't know if it's normal for people with bpd, but I'm quite the same. I have a good memory for many things, but I'm absolutely horrible with faces. I'm doing ok with people I know well, but it really takes me a while to remember a new face. I've lost count of the number of times I didn't recognize someone I had recently talked to...

[dancinglady]

People with BPD have a thing where when someone is gone it disappears from our mind. This is the reason why we freak out when people leave. WE have problems with "object consistency". It is like when u r really little. Out if sight out of mind. A small child or person with BPD thinks their parents/friends/family have abandoned them even when they r gone for a very short time. I used to be like that and never want to leave my T office but we worked thru that. I still had to look at his website to remember him.

[Crazy Hitch]

I have the opposite problem, but it's more to do with me being right brained dominant.

I can recall people's faces but I often can't recall anything about them, or where I met them or what they do. Especially recalling their names - I'm appalling! So embarrassing when I go out and someone comes up to me and says "Hi W****" and I'm looking at them blank.y. I know I know them but I really can't place them.

[cryingontheinside]

I have poor short term memory and always have done. Ill go into a room to get something then forget why i went there. I think its related to a childhood trauma that i blocked out rather than specifically related to my bpd.

[guilloche]

That's interesting. I do not have a formal BPD diagnosis, but awhile ago had a diagnosis that included "BPD traits". And, I'm the same way... very hard time recalling/describing people.

And, absolutely about my T. I've been seeing him since this summer (several months, every other week) - and just this week I was shocked to notice he had like a whole beard thing going on. I didn't say anything, but I was truly *surprised*. I can't necessarily picture *him* when I'm not there, but I can sometimes picture his picture from his website... but somehow the facial hair still really surprised me. Maybe something else changed... he mentioned that he doesn't wear suits (he had on a sweater), and I thought - "huh? I thought you were ALWAYS in a suit, like every session so far?"

It's confusing. But, at this point, I have enough other stuff to try to figure out in sessions, that it's not really important enough to bring up!

(Oh, and I assumed it had more to do with being a strong "intuitive/N" in the Meyers-Briggs world. I always test as a super-high N, meaning I'm very much in my head/imagination/hypothetical, and tend to be very bad at observing/sensing the actual physical reality that surrounds me. I miss alot!)

[Achy Turtle Armor]

Thanks for the replies.

[jeremiahgirl]

Hi all, interesting thread. I think for myself I seem to lose focus when I'm stressed. When im stressed everything is "internal" and it's hard to focus on the outer surroundings. Another thing is my T has said time and time again that when he first met me I dissociated a lot. I think that's become lass and less as I've progressed in EMDR but now that some memories are slowly coming up it freaks me out, it's like I don't know how to handle them. I don't dissociate but feel weird and confused and afraid because it's new. Generally my memory is good, but I did have a thought that perhaps medications interfere with out memories.

I've always put that down to the fact that I spend so much time locked up in my own head that I pay very little attention to the outside world lol

But yeah, I struggle to remember people I've known for years and even then it is often inaccurate.

[Achy Turtle Armor]

Originally Posted by BeteNoire

I've always put that down to the fact that I spend so much time locked up in my own head that I pay very little attention to the outside world lol

But yeah, I struggle to remember people I've known for years and even then it is often inaccurate.

You might have a point. I spend way too much time in my head.

[chasms]

Yes i know how you feel exactly, even with my doctor as well. I have a pretty poor ability to focus and concentrate anyway. It's also hard for me to remember things about me, what i do, where i go, etc. Not sure if it is all bpd related but i feel ya.