[PineForest]

I have never posted here before, but I am so mad at myself right now. Does anyone else decide that something is a great idea and then commit to something and then a day or so later freak out and just know that it was the worst idea ever and then need to back out?

I saw a volunteer opportunity related to the area I got my degree in (but cannot work a job in that area because I am so unstable), and it seemed like such a great enriching thing and then a few days later I was like, "Self what the hell? Why would you sign your moody *ss up for something where people will count on you?!?!?!"

You know that feeling in your gut when you can't make yourself do something, well I have that feeling. I am absolutely backing out of it, I didn't sign papers officially to do that volunteer position, but I did make the people that run it seem like they had an interested person. I didn't mean to be a flake, but dammit I am. Again.

I feel like I just need to make sure I never say yes to things like that and stick to being home and not committing to stuff. I just want to be normal and have a job and support myself and still be able to parent at the same time, but I can't handle both, if I am good at one I completely fail the other end, I feel this like constant impending doom because I don't know who I am. I am invisible, and just put on different outfits and sometimes end up in an outfit I don't remember even getting- and by outfit I mean situation.

My doctor has repeatedly told me that the key to happiness for me is to live a very low key low stress life. Hello, I need to win the lottery.

[jelly-bean]

Is your doctor a pdoc or an MD? Are you in therapy? If you aren't in therapy you might want to consider that as an option to help you work things out.

[LoLaLoLa]

I remembered couple of times when i done this.. Commiting to something and regret my decision..

One of them is when my friend asked me whether i want to be her bridemaids...and my answer was "of course!".. she asked me few months before her wedding (Jun 2013).. I soon regreted my decision felt that it was kind of commitment..and i don't like commitment.. Many times i wanted to call her and told her i can't be her bridemaids..but i didn't..i just let myself feel the regret how many times myself want..but i won't cancel it..so in June, i was her bridemaids and all went well.. I felt great after it was over and feel good about myself too..

knowing myself..i know that this sort of things will happen..i always regret after making a decision..so i gave myself a time to regret, but i will try my best not to back off...

[Astriferous]

I do that all the time too. Usually I commit to volunteer or work things before really thinking them through, and before I know it, I've double-booked myself :P

I've never really talked it through in therapy before, but it probably has something to do with impulsiveness. I'd suggest maybe giving yourself some time before making commitments? Easier said than done, obviously. Wish I could help more :/