[chasms]

i feel like im stuck in some sort of weird limbo. i know stuff is wrong and i need to change but i really cant. everything feels like too much work and requires too much energy. sometimes i wonder if i even want to get better? even though literally every day is hell. i feel like giving up would just be easier so i just hold onto that thought? plus there is some comfort in my current state since ive been So used to it. i just feel so hopless im on meds, i see a psychiatrist, been hospitalized twice, have 2 psychologists and im (probably) starting a dbt group soon. but i feel so helpless and stuck! everything is uncomfortable and unappealing? does anyone relate or have some words of wisdom...

[kaliope]

totally and completely.......and i kept seeing the phd and kept working with the pdocs.....and this was the hard part....i didnt just accept any old med....i insisted we keep trying until we found the right ones that created a difference in me. i wanted to feel better..........and dbt really made a difference.......and something shifted after i did all this and i didnt feel that way anymore.

[CalBPD]

Started DBT work (2 sessions this past week) and feeling better about my chances already. No easy or quick fixes, and motivating myself is difficult, but you've simply got to know that the disease tricks you into thinking that you either don't want, or need, DBT or anything else for that matter.

Call a friend, post here, commit to a loved one that you'll be there... Do whatever you can, or need to do, in order to beat back this thing.

[Frankbtl]

Hi chasms, I'm just wondering whether you're being a bit tough on yourself in "things you need to change"???
Perhaps if you narrow things/goals down a bit, and just try to focus on one or two for now, the more important ones to you?? And maybe you could break those things down into really small steps to get that bit nearer to where you want to be??
Things may seem so simple when you look at other people doing them, but change can be real hard and take time, so don't go overloading yourself with "I should be able to do x..y...z" it only makes things, harder, right?? One step at a time.........and get all the support you can with that, hey??
And although you might feel hopeless/helpless, that doesn't mean you are OK??!!
You're wanting to/trying to change, which is a massive step..........that so doesn't say hopeless/helpless to me!!!
And you're still seeing people.....doctors, psychiatrist, psychologists........to try and make those changes!!!! Maybe they're going to need to help a bit more........and maybe the DBT will help a bit too.........it can be a journey in finding what might work for you. But you're not hopeless/helpless.........it's just real hard right now, right?.........but with time, with the right support..........and that "want" to change things.............!!!

Alison

[chasms]

Originally Posted by kaliope

totally and completely.......and i kept seeing the phd and kept working with the pdocs.....and this was the hard part....i didnt just accept any old med....i insisted we keep trying until we found the right ones that created a difference in me. i wanted to feel better..........and dbt really made a difference.......and something shifted after i did all this and i didnt feel that way anymore.

Im glad you got to work through things

Originally Posted by CalBPD

Started DBT work (2 sessions this past week) and feeling better about my chances already. No easy or quick fixes, and motivating myself is difficult, but you've simply got to know that the disease tricks you into thinking that you either don't want, or need, DBT or anything else for that matter.

Call a friend, post here, commit to a loved one that you'll be there... Do whatever you can, or need to do, in order to beat back this thing.

thank you! hopefully DBT is helpful for me as well!

Originally Posted by Frankbtl

Hi chasms, I'm just wondering whether you're being a bit tough on yourself in "things you need to change"???
Perhaps if you narrow things/goals down a bit, and just try to focus on one or two for now, the more important ones to you?? And maybe you could break those things down into really small steps to get that bit nearer to where you want to be??
Things may seem so simple when you look at other people doing them, but change can be real hard and take time, so don't go overloading yourself with "I should be able to do x..y...z" it only makes things, harder, right?? One step at a time.........and get all the support you can with that, hey??
And although you might feel hopeless/helpless, that doesn't mean you are OK??!!
You're wanting to/trying to change, which is a massive step..........that so doesn't say hopeless/helpless to me!!!
And you're still seeing people.....doctors, psychiatrist, psychologists........to try and make those changes!!!! Maybe they're going to need to help a bit more........and maybe the DBT will help a bit too.........it can be a journey in finding what might work for you. But you're not hopeless/helpless.........it's just real hard right now, right?.........but with time, with the right support..........and that "want" to change things.............!!!

Alison

thanks so much youre right maybe that i kind of harsh on myself, but i dont even know what my goals are. everything is just kind of cloudy

[Frankbtl]

Hi chasms, maybe some goals then??
And they don't even have to be massive ones, you can start anywhere/be anything, just something/s that may help even just a little
Even if you're not ready/able just yet to change some of that stuff you think is wrong, that's OK, it really is, but maybe you can start yourself on the road to being able to/feeling in a better position to gradually start working on that stuff............maybe scheduling some self care, maybe cutting some of the obstacles/things that might be holding you back, you might only feel ready to try getting up earlier/going to bed earlier, changing your diet a little...........so just small things, to start making you feel a bit better???
Everything's going to be an achievement, remember??!! Might not feel great at the time, but.........still an achievement, a step further!!!
And you know you could even ask your psychologists to help you set some goals, something really clear, something really managable you could perhaps start building on in time. Something to help you out of that limbo..........
It might not happen quickly but.........
So........the things you really can't change, right now...........forgive yourself for that for now, bit of self-compassion!!!
And let's focus a bit more on what you can do, so easy to overlook or underestimate that stuff.
And just a thought...........but there are some DBT resources online...........so maybe check some of those out too??? Just a thought.

Alison