feeling terrible :(

Nothing helps cause my OCD gets in the way of everything i cant do anything or if i do it takes me a very long time. I am just so tired i dont have anything that feels good either. Everything just makes me sad.

Hi eden, I know OCD's grip can sometimes be vice like, and take complete ownership of you so I can understand how it must make things incredibly hard for you and on top of that everything else........
But you know there can be lots of different things your psychologist and psychiatrist can help you in trying if they know how badly the OCD is effecting you e.g. desensitisation work, meds.......I know it certainly isn't easy to breakthrough and you have got the big hurdle of having to tell them, but if you can maybe try to focus first on that first hurdle.......of saying how bad things are for you??
Honestly, professional help can be key for A LOT of people in working through the things you're going through.

Alison

I know but I can't tell them I have tried but I can never get it right. I don't even know how to do anything anymore.

Hi eden, that's OK it doesn't have to be "right"
If you could just tell them a little for now........just so as they know something.
Actual physical or "solid" feelings you can write down for them, but other feelings.......well there can either be thousands of words that might describe them, or none at all, hey?? So just as close as you can get, yes??
But again you don't necessarily need to tell them "up front", you can write things down, you should be able to e-mail..........???
But another thought.......it might/might not help, all I know is that it can help sometimes.........if you find a thread on here or somewhere, or a blog by someone feeling some similar things to yourself, you could always print it out or show them on your phone (???) and tell them "I kind of feel like that"........a little less direct and you're not as "alone in the room" with how you're feeling. So maybe???
And remember you still know how to do "anything", it's just the "obstacles" in your way blocking some of that out/covering it up/holding you back........and those obstacles........well there can be help to start breaking them down. You've done so well starting to talk, reach out on here, so a bit more out there as well maybe??

Alison

I just feel pretty useless. And i dont think there are words but i think they keep thinking i am just tired or frustrated but i feel like it is more than that i dont know i am just really over having to try and explain myself and justify how i am feeling. Especially when i dont really know exactly how i feel. I dont know my head is ugh i dont know what to say. -_- .

Hi eden, if you don't know how you're feeling sometimes saying what you're not can say just as much about what you are feeling.......and these are just examples........"I'm not happy", "I'm not important to anyone", "I'm not confident", "I'm not in control of........", "I'm not able to feel........", "I'm not able to do.........", "I'm not able to believe........"
Although you know, I think you've been describing what you're going through very well on here, in this and different threads, anyway. And yes, I'd definitely say it was more than tiredness and frustration too
So perhaps if you could copy out some of the things you've said on here for them as well???
And I say, there shouldn't be a need to "justify" how you're feeling. That's like having to "make excuses" for the way you're feeling!! And you don't need excuses for the way you're feeling, it is what it is.
What they should do is try to help you find anything that might be causing or adding to you feeling that way and help you work through, cope better with, avoid or minimise those things.........
But of course there aren't always going to be things in someone's life that cause them to be feeling like you do........and they should understand that and help you in the way that best meets your needs.

Alison

It is just whenever I say I feel bad they always just say "so you always feel bad I know you have said that" and then I just get hurt and annoyed and shut down for the rest of the session and it is so annoying because I don't know what other words to use and seeing as I can't say certain words because of the ocd it is like I really can't say it in any other way but it is they just think I am complaining ugh I just I am so sick of all this.

Hi eden, it is really good that you're trying to tell them how you feel, so real kudos for that!!!
But you are not complaining, OK??!!
More so sounds like they might need a bit more to go on?? And the OCD is kind of standing in your way of telling them as well??
So maybe another option........in an email could you send them a link to something on youtube (there should be people talking about similar experiences/feelings to yours on there) and let them know that these are some of the things your OCD and your other anxieties are stopping you talking about???

Alison

Just got insulted by T.

I had an appointment with my psychologist and we kind of made up after the fight but I still couldn't tell him how bad I was feeling I just really don't know what to do everyone will just get mad at me if I say something ugh I just it hurts and my head won't stop and I just I don't know what else there is. My head just I feel like I will explode or I want to scratch myself out of my own skin and I want to scream and I just feel really bad.

??? Insulted by your therapist? Am I right?

Yes that is right. What else is new. I am an old borderline and they are all done with me. So now they just want me to be dead or gone. It does not matter which one I pick. Don't tell me to call crisis they will just hang up.

I read a book "Rough Diamonds" that mentions in the first chapter how a therapist should be carefull bc they could project their own issues on the patients. It's tough to find a good therapist.

Don't worry I am still here -_-. You know on my thread.

Hi eden, well it should be your psychologists job not to get mad at you!!
Although (even though your psychologist shouldn't get mad!!) maybe your pdoc would be better at understanding your conditions and how they effect you?? They for sure should understand, and if you showed them some of your posts on here.........I think you're detailing your feelings very well.

Alison

I don't mean my psychologist would get mad I mean my family would I can picture it now the big sigh of inconvenience and the looks of what a waste of time. I just I think I feel quite trapped as well cause I don't feel like I have any choices and I am so tired and I just I really don't know what to do anymore.