[HD7970GHZ]

I'm in crisis and my mind is going to bad places....

I just got my health records. I have discovered my DBT clinic has altered documentation and deleted documentation.

What do I do?

Do I go back?

I am traumatized people. I am at my max.

They are the custodians of all of the paperwork. At any time they could do this and no one would know.

I am NOT paranoid. Please trust me I would not lie about this on an anonymous forum.

Thanks,
HD

This clinic sound very strange and kind of unprofessional but I don't really know the circumstances.

[CopperStar]

Are you able to give specifics of what has been altered? I think it could help to both confirm for yourself that it's not paranoia, and also help others give advice.

[HD7970GHZ]

I was screwed over and a document was written that intentionally labelled me as a sociopath and a faker of borderline in order to have me booted from the DBT program and for my therapist to quit working with me. I made some stupid voicemails in emotion mind but it was nowhere near bad enough to warrant termination.

I got back into dbt and assigned a new therapist and in emotion mind said I felt like I should file a lawsuit and get an ethics department to investigate everyone there. This is where my treatment became sour. My new therapist had initially included parts that I had said about my previous therapist in her session notes. Later on I got very upset because I requested to see the notes and those parts were missing. They also lost the voicemails on the day I requested to listen to them. The only voicemail they had left was one where I spoke highly of DBT and of the those involved. (I left this message prior to knowing all that was written about me)

Then I ordered all my mental health records just to get a copy of that one document that led to my mistreatment in hospital. I'd seen it twice. I recieved over 1000 pages and the document has been altered. New stuff has been added. Stuff has been erased.

I was handed copies of this document in a session with my psychiatrist. They almost let me have it but then they said no - that I was too dysregulated to have copies! This was after stringing me along for several months!

This is a very short version. They really have traumatized me. Badly. I screamed hysterically all morning because I left voicemails last night in emotion mind and they think DBT might not be helping me. Fair enough - but it's like they are playing dumb. This is not paranoia - this is all true.

They have written their notes in accordance to a possible lawsuit. No joke.

Now theyre making me out to be paranoid. Amazing the control these people have. And I'm literally too attached to leave but I know I should. It's the most stress I've ever been under.

[CopperStar]

Holy ****.

Alright, so going on the theory that these are some crooked as **** people, I think your best bet is to cut all ties and drop of their radar. If you're anything like me, I know that will probably be extremely hard. Backing down from crooked people is hard. Walking away from any type of battle for me is about has hard as it is jump into a pool of ice, quite frankly. Usually can't do it without lots of self-talk first.

But, unfortunately people with BPD are extremely easy to manipulate and entrap. These people treat people with BPD for a living, so they know exactly how to push your buttons to the point that you might lose control and say very emotional things.

Like seriously the only way to win is to walk away. At least for now. Long enough to come down a bit and then lawyer up if you can / want to do so.

But do NOT go back if you feel like they are trying to provoke you. Even IF you are having a paranoia problem and you just, Idunno hallucinated everything, even IF that were the case, they are not being empathetic and professional about it. As people who work with BPD all the time, they should understand that paranoia is common and happens and not the fault of the person with BPD. So even IF you were having a paranoid freak out, their behavior is still whack as ****.

Telling you that you are "too dysregulated" to see documents that pertain to you makes no sense whatsoever. Showing you the documents could have helped to reality test and clear things up and help you relax.

And even IF you did have AsPD, it's still a personality disorder typically caused by severe childhood trauma, so that would still be no excuse to behave so weirdly. Professionals are supposed to have a code of ethics in which they set boundaries and protect themselves, but that doesn't ever include acting like paranoid nutters, themselves. And even IF you did have AsPD, if they have nothing to hide, then they wouldn't need to be worried. And if they really thought you were some sort of physical threat, they wouldn't have allowed you to enter the building(s).

I'm not trying to be a smart *** with all of my "what ifs" btw. But more so just writing out my thought process to validate your thoughts that, yeah, their behavior makes no sense no matter which way you look at it. Even if you were paranoid, even if you were a sociopath, their behavior would still make no sense. So if you feel confident that this is not paranoia, and that you do have BPD, then their behavior is seriously whack as ****.

Especially because people with BPD can go through periods where they seem more like AsPD. Typically happens with the person with BPD is disassociating from their emotions due to overload, but still know their manipulative coping tendencies. This is a common part of the disorder, and professionals are supposed to understand that and not freak out. Various forms of subconscious manipulation are typically how people with PDs had to get many of their needs and their safety met as children. People with BPD are also prone to disassociation. It can present a lot like AsPD at certain times, but it's not the same thing. If I can know that just from doing Google searches, then actual professionals should know it, too.

Anyway I know it sucks something serious, but if you can't trust these people, the therapeutic value is basically out the window, anyway.

Just for clarification--

I remember some posts back in April (I believe) talking about another therapist who had been unethical as well, and that you had moved on to a different DBT group. What happened there? Or is this the same therapy office? I think I may be confused, as in the last thread where this incident was mentioned (re: the thread discussing the DBT member's abandonment), it sounded like a previous office/therapist. But this is a current situation?

Again, just trying to clarify.

[HD7970GHZ]

I am telling the truth. This is all true. Please trust me. One problem is I am emotionally dysregulated and I do say stupid things. I have put myself in these places too.

I am being pushed and pulled back and forth in this program. It is extremely troubling... I do feel manipulated. For sure. But I do need this treatment and thats why I keep going back in. The problem is I cant afford private.

This is all the same clinic.

I have never hallucinated. I do struggle with paranoia from time to time - but this is not psychosis. This is trauma related and it's all truth.

I would never file a lawsuit because I would lose miserably. But you know what - I can do a polygraph. Maybe I cant get them to do one - but I sure can.

No one is saying you're not telling the truth. I, personally, am asking for clarification because of what I just said in my previous post (I don't need to type it again, it's right above).

[Angelique67]

In the hospital in 2013 they said I have AsPD and I have no idea why. I was very upset about it when I got home and looked it up. God knows how many people might see those hospital records (or whatever records that's in) throughout the rest of my life. It's like labelling me not a human being.

[Crazy Hitch]

I can hear what a dilemma you are in HD and I'm sorry that you've had to uncover all of this truth via documentation and missing documentation.

I hope that you are able to get to the bottom of all of this!